Saturday, October 31, 2009

A man, a dream, a blog

Mid-terms snuck up on me like a snow leopard in a blizzard. I didn’t even see it coming. But alas, it did. And now I feel like I have been mauled by some type of large animal. I don’t think I had an official “mid-term” per se, because all of my classes do a good job at throwing tests and crazy assignments at me at all times. But, regardless of the fact that I didn’t have an official mid-term, they still had an effect on me.

I now have no desire to do anything involving school. I’m completely zapped of all energy. I used to stay up in the library all hours of the night, studying and doing all that jazz. Now, I just go home and sleep or go do something with some buddies. I can’t bring myself to sit down and read a textbook. Perhaps in a week or so I’ll work out all the mid-term blues and be able to get down to business once again.

On a lighter note, I’ve got some more things that must go. Vampires. The fat cats in Hollywood have decided that we need more vampires. Well I’m taking a stand. No more. I’m tired of vampires. If I wanted to associate with blood eaters I’d move to a swamp and chum up with some mosquitoes. Not only are we now over saturated with vampires, all the vampire shows and whatnot are stupid. One movie comes out and then everyone and their dog has to produce a vampire movie. They don’t even have good story lines or scripts. Not to mention the terrible acting. They’re all just a bunch of people who couldn’t make it in the Harry Potter films. That’s right, I did just say that.

Now, I would like to talk about some things that please me. Number one, the movie Raising Arizona, Nicholas Cage’s greatest triumph. The chase scene in the movie where Nicholas Cage steals the huggies and the cops chasing him down is one of the greatest achievements in cinematic history to date. And then there is the fight scene in the trailer when Nicholas Cage scrapes his knuckles on the ceiling. I cannot do justice to the movie by trying to explain it. You will simply have to watch it yourself. Only then can you appreciate the greatness that is Raising Arizona.

Another thing that brings me great happiness is wit. Wit is often few and far between in this day and age. So often the humor we encounter is just too much. I can think of few things that bring me more joy than a witty, intelligent comment. Some people refer to them as zingers, others as burns. But I think that we have lost the idea of wit. We need to bring back the clever witticisms that were once so prevalent in society. One example of this was illustrated by an exchange between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill, when Lady Astor said, “You sir, are drunk.” To which Churchill replied, “and you madam are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober.”

Friday, October 30, 2009

Story idea!

Well, I had an epiphany while I was riding the bus home today, so of course I went home and typed solidly for 45 minutes. Honestly, I'm surprised with what I came up with (with minimal revision, of course).

“Let’s move everyone!” I shouted, heading over to the pier where the chosen speedboat was waiting. I made sure that Alec could drive the thing, and then we were off to the massive yacht. The sun was setting, and we came in fast and low. Silently I signaled for everyone to climb a ladder that was hanging down into the water.

We crept across the deck and over to a stairwell leading down to the next level. It wasn’t as brightly-lit as I’d thought, so we were able to sneak in relative darkness to a lesser-used area of the ship. In everyone’s solid black, we were practically invisible.

“Listen,” I said. “We should probably split into two teams and begin to search. Leon, you take Doug and Sharon. Jessica and I will search this area of the ship, and you take this part. Remember, there’ll probably be a window in the door, and at least one guard. We’ll meet you here,” I said, pointing to an emergency access stairwell. “Go!”

It was now midnight, and Jessica and I walked our chosen route, peeking into every door, looking for any sign of activity. My best computer technician, I wasn’t sure she how well she could use the gun strapped to her waist, but she needed something to try to keep her safe.

“Hey!” she said as we neared the corridor. “This looks promising.”

In a side hallway off to our right stood two guards. They wore pistols and had their customary black shades on, despite the dimness of the ship’s interior. Flattening myself against the wall, I drew both of my guns.

“Three, Two, One!” I hissed, throwing myself into view and firing off two shots. Jessica gasped as I hit both men in the head, felling them both.

“Quick, help me,” I said. We grabbed the two bodies and put them in a nearby side room. Then I ran back to the door that the men were guarding. It was a simple steel door with no windows; I couldn’t hear anything through it, so I quietly turned the handle and flung it open. It was another corridor, this one thinner and probably only used for maintenance.

“Come.” I motioned for Jessica to move in and I led her down the hall. It made me nervous to have the only exit I knew about at my back, but we pressed on. When we came to the end of the hallway and peeked around the corner, I swore and prepared to fire. There were three guards, but I was able to shoot them with no trouble. These men had also been guarding a door. I peeked into the window.

“Bingo,” I said. There was our missing comrade, tied to a chair with an excessive amount of rope. With him was another girl, about fifteen years old, with white-blond hair. She was dressed in nothing but a bathrobe. They were both blindfolded, so I couldn’t signal them. I tried the door; it was locked. I searched the bodies that lay by my feet, but found nothing. Shoving them away from the door, I turned to my friend.

“Call the others,” I told Jessica. “Tell them we’ve found James and another girl. Tell them to hurry, because this is going to be very loud.” I drew a small explosive from my belt and put it up against the doorknob. I backed away and blew it.

A thunderous boom echoed through the ship. With a flash of super-bright light, the hallway filled with smoke and little droplets of molten steel, my magnesium detonator blew up the doorknob and a lot of the door. With my foot I kicked it open.

“James,” I said, grabbing his bound hands and sawing through the rope.

“Cat?” he said blindly. I tore off the cloth that covered his eyes and kept working.

“Cat, we have to go,” said Jessica, untying the girl.

“I know!” I hissed, cutting through the last strand. He stretched with great relief. I noticed that his wrists were raw from chafing, and his face was black and blue from a beating. Still, he winked at me as he grabbed a gun from one of the dead guards and cocked it. I was relieved, though I knew we weren’t safe yet. My best friend was going to be okay if he hadn’t lost his sense of humor.

“Follow me,” I said as we went back into the hallway. There was an alarm sounding, but I ignored it. We got back to the first corridor that I’d shot people in, and that was where our extraordinary luck ran out. Three guards came running towards us.

“Back into the hall!” I screamed as they began to draw weapons. We could hold them off (as they could only go through the door one at a time) but we were trapped ourselves.

“Call Leon!” I hissed. “Have him take them from the back.” There were three quick shots, and the guards fell dead.

“Disregard that last order,” I said as Leon and Doug came over.

“Hey man,” he said, pounding James’ fist. “I’m getting pretty tired of rescuing you.”

“Believe me, I’m sick of it too,” said my best friend wryly. Doug gave him a man-hug, and I smiled.

“Alec?” I telephoned. “We’re ready for you to get us out of here. Meet us by the back left, where the other ladder is, alright?”

“Sir yes sir!” he whispered into the phone. “I’ll be there in just a few minutes.”

“Don’t get caught!” I whispered back, and hung up, only to call Mr. Shier.

“We’ve located our man,” I said. “We’re going to be coming back in a few minutes, so turn on your engine and wait for us near the docks.”

“You got it,” he said briskly.

As a group, we crept around the ship, moving slowly and cautiously towards the stairwell near the explosives storage room. The halls were uncomfortably deserted, and I knew that our escape shouldn’t be this easy.

“Alright everyone,” I said. “Alec should be here by now, so let’s be careful. We’ve almost made it out.” I led everyone up the stairs on deck. Most of the enemy protected the section that I knew housed their leaders, so our path was mostly unobstructed. We broke into a run, crouching behind things, and we almost got out without being seen. Shots fired behind us made us break into an all-out sprint.

“Hurry, hurry!” shouted Alec from his motor boat. It was one in the morning, so it was almost impossible to see him.

“Go, everyone over the side!” I shouted, drawing a second gun and beginning to fire both simultaneously.

“I’m not going to leave you!” shouted James back.

“I’m not asking you to!” I snarled. “Now get down that ladder!” Doug cursed loudly. A bullet had hit him in the thigh.

“NOW!!” The girl was screaming with terror; Leon grabbed her in one arm and climbed over the side.

“Now!” bellowed Leon, badgering everyone down into the boat. I heard Doug fall a few feet, groaning with pain. Finally it was just me. I fired a long continuous burst of automatic fire, then vaulted over the rail into thin air. I dropped for almost a full second before I hit the freezing cold water. Almost immediately hands pulled me into the boat; I’d landed by the side.

“Go, Go!” I screamed as Alec hesitated to make sure I was fully seated. He gunned the motor and drove at top-speed away from this place.

“They’re launching boats to follow,” warned Jessica. I shot the last of my clip at the jet-skis that tried to follow us.

“They’re still coming!” warned Sharon in a tight voice, trying desperately to make Doug comfortable.

“Ivor,” I called, grabbing my phone. “Where are you?”

“I’m almost right above you now,” said Ivor Shier over the roar of his helicopter. “I can see you...”

“Land on the dock,” I said, and heard the chopper fly back towards shore. Doug was still moaning loudly, his leg a bloody mess. It had hit him in his upper thigh, in a place where the bullet would have been embedded.

“Sharon,” I said, slapping her so that she came to her senses. “I need you to put pressure on this spot to slow the bleeding, alright?” She shook her head to clear it, and began to push firmly on the pressure point on his leg as I pulled the roll of duct tape from my belt.

“Help me!” I said to the little girl, who was just sitting, shaking, in the bottom of the boat. She helped me tear strips and I began to tape the wound closed.

“This will hold for while,” I said. “We’ll...” A bullet slammed into the boat’s hull near my hand, and I flinched, jerking everyone down.

“Leon?!” I yelled. He understood, immediately firing a few rounds back. Alec tried to go even faster, but we’d filled the boat over capacity already and he had to be careful.

“The dock’s coming up, Cat,” said Jessica. I looked ahead of us, and could see the helicopter circling for a landing.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” I said, putting the last finishing touches on Doug’s leg. “I’ll take the wheel when we get really close. You two get to the chopper first.” Leon nodded.

“Jessica?” I said. “I want you to make sure you and this girl get on the helicopter safely. Just run. You can film more once you’re on board.”

“What about us?” asked Sharon, indicating Doug.

“You and James are going to help Doug run to the helicopter,” I said. “I’ll cover the rear and try to keep them off of us as long as possible.”

“Are we ready?” I asked as I quickly switched places with Alec. Leon got ready to stow his gun. I roared up to the dock and braked, spinning the wheel so I slammed into it sideways as if parallel parking.

“Go, Go!” I screamed as Alec and Leon sprinted off towards the empty space where the chopper stood, blades spinning. Jessica was out next, dragging the girl along with her. Sharon crouched on the dock and helped Doug out, who put his arms around her and James for help running. Ivor had opened the helicopter doors; I sprang out of the boat and began firing down at our pursuers, hitting the driver of one of the boats and scaring the others. The boats slowed a little, and I turned and sprinted back to the chopper. In the next moment, we were airborne and flying away.

“We did it!” cheered Jessica, punching the air.

“Congratulations,” said the commander, allowing a smile to cross his face, looking back from where he sat beside Ivor. “A successful simulation.” Doug grinned, stripping away the duct tape from where the paint-filled blank had hit him.

“It almost wasn’t,” I said ruefully. “If we’d taken the faster boat when we started out, there wouldn’t have been enough room for...” I pointed at the girl.

“Natalie,” she said, brushing her hair out of her face.

“Natalie,” I said. “You know, sir, I didn’t expect to have a civilian to rescue as well as James here.” The man in question looked up from cleaning off the makeup that had made him appear beaten, and grinned.

“When do we get to do something real?” he asked eagerly.

“You’re getting a transfer the moment we get back to base,” said our trainer. “After that...we’ll see.”

"Escape From New York"



This is a slacker prompt right? I'll just write about what's recently occurred in my life, since i only had one real mid-term paper. Nothing worth writing about. Hmm, let's see... What have I done recently? Oh, yes!
Last night i had the privilege of viewing one of the most flawed films i have come across. Escape From New York, for those of you not familiar with it, is an action film released in 1981. According to the DVD cover, it takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. This is the first of many blatant contradictions, in which this film is piled up to its figurative knees. There is no way this film has a post-apocalyptic setting. There is a president of the United States who is supposed to go to a meeting with the leaders of Russia and China. Maybe I'm confused, but post-apocalyptic usually means everyone, or most everyone, is dead.
There are numerous other problems throughout the film. Somehow, instead of being irritating, they seem to add an indescribable charm to the movie. Some of them are rather humorous. For example, Snake Plissken, the main character, uses a weapon that resembles a MAC-10 submachine gun. As he first enters the Big Apple, he screws a massive silencer onto the end of it. When i say massive, i mean ridiculously huge. It's probably longer than the gun itself. Anyways, he then proceeds to fire said submachine gun at some "crazies," and what do i hear? A very loud and clear gun rapport. Um, i guess the silencer really was just to look cool.
The biggest and most obvious flaw, however, is in a scene near the end of the movie. Snake and company are making their way out of the late World Trade Center Towers. They attempt to take a car that is sitting in front of the building. Of course, it won't start, so Snake opens the hood. And out pops henchman #4 holding a cross bow to Snake's chest! It was a trap set by the Duke! Ok, this may seem unrealistically cheesy, as it is, but it gets better. The camera shows Duke with Snake's MAC-10 with massively ineffective silencer. The Duke lowers the weapon, about to fire. Pan to Snake and company. Snake fires his revolver at some compressed air cans, which causes a distraction, allowing Snake and friends to escape... Wait. Something's missing. What happened to henchmen #4 who was standing in the hood of the car. Surely he wouldn't let someone shoot at his boss. The movie offers no explanation. The man just disappeared. Hmm... Maybe Snake Plissken possesses secret magical powers.
Anyways, that's enough about Escape From New York, i think. It was an interesting film, worth seeing once. Oh, and for those of you whom it may interest, Hideo Kojima, the man responsible for the outstandingly successful Metal Gear Solid video games, was heavily influenced by this film. If you watch the movie, its easy to see the similarities between Solid Snake from MGS and Snake Plissken.
Have a good week, everyone.
That is all.

TONIGHT WE RIDE!!!



Midterms? I honestly had no midterms this semester. I do not know if that is a good thing or not. I wish that I had midterms, so I could write about how they went, instead of another random subject. Well today is the day before Halloween. I still wonder what I am going to do. I think that I will just hang out with my best friend. There are a lot of functions going on tonight: a few dances, a few parties, and a lot of other interesting gatherings. I will just tell you about my plans.

Tonight will be a crazy night for me. Last night, I got a call about 11:23PM from one of my good friends. He told me that I had to participate in this years soapbox derby. The funny thing is that the derby is tonight, and we have a maximum of three hours to build, test, and modify our cart by then. Most of the other teams spend at least a week on their cars. I said yes and hung up. I would like to state that I am the kind of person that would jump out of bed to do any random thing. I agreed that I would participate even though he woke me up from my beauty sleep, and waited until the day of the competition to start on our car. He also had entered me in this race not knowing that I might have had prior plans for the night.

My thoughts on how the night will unfold are quite ominous. I have that feeling like something bad is going to happen. Just think about it, two grown men riding a poorly made racer down a very steep hill on a cold and wet night. I think that someone is going to get hurt. On the other hand, I know that this will be another unforgettable moment lived.

I also have found out that a couple of our own English 3840 students, other than myself, will be participating in this event. I hope all goes well, and one of us wins the prize money.

TONIGHT WE RIDE!!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Positive Electrons



This blog post is for the first slacker prompt. I am a little late posting it, but it will be posted tonight. As you can see, I have been a slacker myself lately. It is time to change my evil ways, or I will fail this class. Speaking of my standing in this class, it looks grim that I will even obtain a B, but from here on out I am going to dedicate myself and try my hardest.

The other day, Claire had the class write down a few character traits that we saw in ourselves. So I am going to post about the character traits I had written about myself, and the short story that goes along with them.

The four character traits that had slowly came to my mind were: caring, funny, respectful, and positive. I had never thought about myself being a positive person before, but then I started to think about it more. It seems to me I always see the good in the bad. I will always try to make something boring into something amazingly fun. That is probably why it is hard for me to be serious. Now that I think of it more, I need to be more serious at times.

This is my short story about being positive. One day I had come across a sad friend. I could tell that something was bothering him from the blank stare on his face. I sat down next to him to investigate the problem. I asked him what was wrong, but he would not tell me. After ten minutes of talking with him, he started to show signs of character; he was talking more and used more of his facial muscles to hold brief smiles. Long story short, even though I did not know what the problem was, I had made him feel better.

Mid-terms and extistential crises

The biggest headache this mid-term was getting swine flu. Everything else seems secondary. However, I am convinced that if I can combine the proper mix of Valium and Red Bull I can not only finish the three huge papers I have to write, but I will remain sane in the process.

However, I am currently struggling to stay awake reading about the philosophy of Schopenhauer and Cormac McCarthy. I swear that literary critics are deliberately obtuse. They say things like epistemology and ontology instead of knowing and believing. Thus, a headache inevitable ensues. Does anyone know a way to make these things more interesting? I would love to hear it.

Also, I have to write some sort of paper on something dealing with Victorian literature and the media and I don't know where to start. My level of interesting in just about everything has dropped so low at this point that most days remaining conscious is a feat within itself.
I feel like curling up and sleeping Rip Van Winkle style. Who's with me?

In the midst of all of the school mess occasionally at night larger questions threaten my sleep and sanity. As I approach a milestone birthday, I won't say which one, larger existential issues arise.
Since I am an existentialist and believe we create our own meaning, I have to then define and justify my existence. Why am I here and what is my purpose are questions that I think about frequently.

I also worry about leaving my mark upon this earth. I hate to think that after I die that's it. The rational portion of my brain says this is true, but the emotional part hopes it's not. (I think I am setting out my religious stance unintentionally.) However, I want to leave something behind after I go, but I'm not sure what.

I am also concerned that I have exhausted my depth of clever and new things to say about what I have read. I feel like I have too many books to read and not enough time. I am constantly looking at the library and feeling more and more inadequate. This is exhausting within itself. I think that I need a week of reading nothing literary and just focus on the stupid. This would assist me greatly. High level abstract thought seems to be too much of a challenge at this point, which is extremely unfortunate considering I need to write a paper dealing with the Bahktinian notion of the carnivalesque and Blood Meridian. I am ready to talk about something less esoteric and miss having my best friend close to do that with. Now that I am an old married lady I spend my free time keeping my house clean, shopping for groceries and ironing my husbands shirts. I need some retail therapy and a talk about shampoo or something.

Perhaps these questions are too large for a blog mostly about writing tutoring. So I'll leave you with something completely different.

Listen. Strange women lyin’ in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

:)

Hooray! A slacker prompt! These are always lots of fun. I will try my hardest not to ramble too incoherently. I am especially happy to report that I did not have any midterms. Or, at least, not anything that most people would consider midterms. I did have a Junior Recital two weeks ago, but I picked the date for that so it was kind of my fault it was during midterms. And I have also spent at least three blogs mentioning and agonizing over it, so I do not want to bore you with that all over again. The funny thing is that I was so stressed out about it that I did not even realize that we had made it halfway through the semester until the week was over and I was chillin’ up at my grandparent’s cabin. (Sidenote: The Uintahs are freaking GORGEOUS during October! Just for your info. And I was up there before the cold front moved in and froze everything, so it was warm and sunny on top of the changing leaves. Happy day! Okay sidenote over.) The best part about having the recital halfway through the semester, though, is that I will not have to do juries (or what we consider finals week for private lessons) at the end. So I don’t think I will have any finals, either…wow this is an easy semester for me!
I guess the only other two things that could be considered midterms were the tests I had to take for my two fitness classes. But their most difficult questions stemmed around subjects such as, “Why is it a good idea to exercise?” and “Where can you find your pulse?” Mind boggling stuff, really. Of course, there was the very stressful moment where I had to locate where the biceps were, but with some intense thought and determination I got through that with only four beads of sweat on my forehead (or fivehead, if you’re Victor Borge)…what is it that is supposed to denote sarcasm in a text form? /sarcasm/? Haha, anyway, /end sarcasm/ and I will just tell you that I am thrilled that we did not have a paper due for this class in the middle of the semester, especially since we have the monster bibliography essay due at the end.
I think it may be a bad thing that I do not have too many tests to freak me out, though, because I can feel Senioritis creeping up on me. It is especially bad because I have another semester to go before graduation! That is, I only have one semester if all goes well. I suppose I have already gotten my hard classes out of the way anyway, though, so that is good. Hooray for AP classes! And for Concurrent Enrollment and credits that actually transfer over to Weber State. Anyway, now I am really really rambling so I should probably stop now before it gets worse.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Wait...what?




Midterms? Oh, right. Those...are over now? Wait, did they even start?

...I don't think I've had an actual midterm for several semesters. So I guess for me they went...just...dandy...

Yes.

But hey, apparently we have another slacker prompt thing going on this week. Yay slacker prompt! Now y'all get to hear about Twilight just as promised. Er...okay not all about it, since me talking about this subject can go on for several novels (which would be inherently better than the actual series anyway, so maybe it's not too much of a loss).

So Twilight is...well, let's face it. Twilight sucks. Half the Twilight-aware world knows it, and the other half either knows it and loves it anyway or just flat out refuses to listen to reason. I mean, seriously, it's a glorified abusive relationship that has sparkles thrown on it to make it look pretty. Since, you know, in today's society "pretty" totally sells itself.

Oh, speaking of sparkles...

GypsyDancer17: Oh it only gets worse after Twilight. The final book successfully shattered my sanity for a day.

CheleKat: Of course! After all, why teach kids lifelong values and lessons that would better the world as a whole when you can just SHATTER them for life and send all that makes life beautiful straight to hell? You know the answer! Shatter people! It's what makes SPARKLES.

GypsyDancer17: Those sparkles don't make themselves you know. You think you can achieve a statuesque-Godlike-diamond-velvety sparkle without shattering a few lives?

And that's where sparkles come from, kids. Also, apparently you can quite easily lose a moon. Don't ask me how--it's just another random fact to prove that reason and logic have NOTHING to do with this series. I guess that's what makes it "classic?"

I know it's childish to make a big deal out of this, but for one, it's quite fun, and for another, it's not like I can ignore it with half my friends and half the population around here (new reason to fear Utah) brandishing at least one of the four books in my face everywhere I go. Besides, why strain myself trying to ignore it when I can delight in tormenting those who obsess over it.

...yes, my point exactly. Everyone needs a hobby. Besides, if I play it right then I can cash in on the popularity on both sides through AnTwi (anti-Twilight for those unfamiliar with it) comics and art--which can sell well for both Twihards and AnTwis alike. Yay for manipulation! It gets you what you want--another valuable lesson that Twilight teaches us.

But wait, there are other lessons that Twilight teaches that probably won't make sense to anyone except those who know the series! Let's list:

-Abusive relationships are totally acceptable just as long as it's totally true love.
-If you want to be a good villain, be very devoted to the cause--even if that means watching several hundred hours worth of home videos about an idiotic girl.
-Another way to be a good villain? Be the main villain for two whole books and make ONE appearance at the very, very end so you can die off.
-ANOTHER way to be a good villain? Have an awesome sentence like this written about you: "Aro started to laugh. 'Ha, ha, ha,' he chuckled." Not only does it reiterate three times that you laugh, but it has commas!
-It's perfectly normal to have nightmares and become a complete zombie for several months after your boyfriend leaves you—and then trying to kill yourself repeatedly is awesome too!
-Having an uncaring, ignorant, perfectly incapable father like Charlie is just so hard…and yet so awesome?

-Life sucks. And it’s okay to complain about it. Over. And over. And over.

-Writing several pages about doing laundry and cooking dinner is just OMG such good writing!

Well there’s a whole lot more actually. I could go on, and on, and on forever…but I guess I have to stop now since I’m already well past six hundred words. YES.

P.S. If the movie Aro isn't totally gay, then my entire imagining of New Moon will be shattered. I could totally draw a Mormon allegory here, but I think I'll hold off.

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Slacker Prompt

Now is the time when the stress really begins to pile up. How did your mid-terms go?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

A Very Bad Session

For the most part my tutoring sessions have been productive, informative and usually quite enjoyable. However, this excludes one that is simply the worst tutoring session I have ever been a part of. This session was all wrong from the very beginning. The student had arrived thirty-five minutes late, and unfortunately for me we were not busy enough to turn him away. So with an unapologetic air, he whips his paper out of his backpack along with the assignment sheet and slides it across the table to me. I ask him what the assignment is, and he says "it is the paper right in front of you." I then calmly ask if he has any questions, but his reply is “I just have to get this paper read by a tutor as part of my assignment.” By this time I am starting to fume! He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t get what tutoring is about. He has no respect for me. The only thing he is here for is my signature or a tutoring code!

My next thought was to get this over with as quickly and pain-free as possible, so I start reading the paper. The purpose of the assignment (which I was forced to decipher from the assignment sheet) was to write about and analyze an article that discussed how eating preferences define or contribute to who we are as humans. Instead of doing this, he decided to turn this assignment into an opinion essay stating his views about why eating meat is so great, and why an omnivorous lifestyle is the best and only option. He hadn’t followed the assignment at all, but at this point how could I explain this to him?

Honesty and bluntness was the best and only solution, so I told him that he hadn’t followed the assignment. While I did point out that he had made some good points that could be used to support the author’s argument, he pretty much needed to reorganize and rethink the whole assignment. Needless to say he didn’t like my response. He proceeded to argue with my assessment of his assignment and then tried to point out how I was wrong. I tried giving him ideas on how to incorporate his ideas into a new, more complete essay, but he wouldn’t listen to anything I was saying. As if all of this wasn’t bad enough, he then started to argue with me about whether or not “cookbook” is one or two words. After proving my point by looking “cookbook” up in the dictionary and seeing that it was in fact one word, he still wanted to argue that the pronunciation or syllable dot in between cook and book meant that it is supposed to be written in two words.

By this point I had pretty much had all I could take. I told him to spell cookbook however he wanted and to leave his paper the way it was if he wanted to. I guess this response finally grabbed his attention. Now that he was finally listening to what I was saying, he asked me how he should write and word his paper to meet the assignment. I wasn’t going to waste my time explaining myself for a second time, so I told him to do it however you want I have already given you all of my suggestions.