"Let's write!"

I have tried to put a lot of thought to where I actually began learning how to write and I think, that in my mind, I have finally gone far enough back in time to where it really all began...

My dad used to read to me when I was very young. I would lay in the bottom bunk bed, my older sister on the top, and I'd listen to my dad read. He would read anything from Little House on the Prairie, to the Wizard of OZ, and The Lord of the Rings. When he was finished for the night, my sister would be asleep, but I would usually still be awake. My dad and I had regular talks at this time, he leaning over me to kiss me goodnight and tuck me in the blankets; my famous inquiry to him at this time would be "tell me a story when you were little," hoping that my dad was able to come up with stories on his own. I knew then, even at such a young age, that authors, like the ones that wrote the books my dad and I read together, started their writing by, no doubt, telling a story. Of course my dad had stories about when he was little--- like when he buried a toy truck in the back yard so he wouldn't lose it because he and his family were moving...

I think that really was the beginning. From there, I made the decision that I wanted to be an author. I vowed that I would write a book---or several books--- and someday a little girl and her father would read them together before bedtime. I got started--- it was probably---second grade where I wrote and animated a story about a detective girl named Sally and her sidekick kitten named Whiskers. Naturally, I wanted to share my stories with my neighborhood friends, and they loved it and wanted to write stories of their own. For a while my friends and I would write and read under the shade of my tall plum tree on the side of my home, writing together and reading aloud. But, as most games go when you are in elementray, writing began to get boring to most of my friends. They would much rather play hide-and-seek or play "box-houses" (where you would build houses for your favorite toys out of old boxes and play) or something else. I participated with my friends in their other games, but whenever we were deciding what we should play and I was asked what I wanted to do, I would say, “let’s write!” (Most of the time they would groan or say, “I know what Kassie wants to do…write.”)

I am practically the same way, but now I have a book shoved under my nose; I am constantly reading something. I mastered the art of reading while I walk in Junior High--- and when I get close to an ending in a book or it is a book I am really interested in, it hardly strays from my side. So, I guess the way that I learned how to write is very much connected to my passion for loving to read. I still have those hopes of writing a book, published in the library for a bookworm to read and enjoy. And who knows--- maybe I’ll be the next J.K Rowling. (Just kidding.)

Just like riding a bike, I guess.

I learned how to write much like I learned how to ride a bike. In the beginning some kind soul tried to help me, and after a few days of constant failure, got frustrated and impatient, and finally left me alone to figure it out myself. I remember riding that miniature bike endlessly up and down the parking lot of a small apartment complex in Clearfield and falling, crying, and bleeding, and bleeding, and bleeding.

My experience with writing has been much the same. It began with my well-intentioned, but incredibly naïve, 7th grade English teacher Captain Shouper at Riverside Military Academy. At some point between corporal punishment and public humiliation, the young Captain decided to expose us grunts to the finer points of Shakespearian sonnets. He enlightened us on how to write poetry by following Shakespeare’s format exactly. We all turned in a few poems, mostly about “love,” football, or some other junk, and after a couple of days the Capt’s motivation withered, and the program disappeared. Like my bike riding experience, I was left alone to work out the problem for myself.

I kept falling, and kept getting hurt, but over time the wobbly bike rides began to straighten out until one day the tiny, battered training wheels just snapped off and I rode by myself for a bit, until crashing into a curb. The cookie cutter sonnets evolved into crappy love poems, which then progressed into shallow detective stories, and finally into the breathtaking literary perfection that you are experiencing right now.

The problems that students who come into the writing center might have a lot to do with apathy or plain old lack of talent. Or they might have to do with a lack of practice. Writing isn’t an art that can be taught by beating students over their heads with thick volumes of “Classic” literature. It also isn’t a talent that can be given to somebody through endless explanations of writing theory and techniques. Writing is hard, and with the exception of a few smarmy know-it-alls, is a skill that comes only after years of falling down, messing up, and writing countless bad love poems. Most students have not done this by the time they begin college and knowing this might help the tutor a little when tutoring.

In order to pass their “obstacles,” students need to realize that good writing only comes after practice and work. To do this, however, they have to actually care. Therein lies the problem.

Unfortunately at the time of writing this wonderful blog I have only tutored seven students, most of who were either in ESL, or just wanted me to sign their papers for them. I imagine that when and if I get to tutor a struggling writer who is genuinely trying to write then I will be able to influence them by letting them know that their art will take time to develop; and that with time, that which they are trying to say may evolve from the convoluted mess on the paper into a clear, meaningful piece of literature.

Picture books

I think it all started in second grade when Mrs. Izatt stood in front of our class and told us to write and illustrate a picture book. Those were her only instructions: write and illustrate a picture book. Murmurs of "How?" and "Why?" floated around the room and eventually sank back into the puzzled faces of the other twenty-nine children in the class. Meanwhile, I earnestly tried to sit still and resist the urge to run in a happy circle and to turn a few cartwheels. I would get to write a book!

For three years, I had read every children's book on my shelves at home. I had devoured picture books and chapter books alike. By the time I started second grade, I read on a sixth grade level and desperately wanted to write something -- but I thought I needed someone else to provide me with a reason to write. Mrs. Izatt gave me that reason. I tiptoed to her when the recess bell rang, pulled her sleeve and whispered, "Is it okay if I write a chapter book?"

"Sure," she said. "As long as you illustrate it."

I began to write a story about a girl whose beautiful birthday necklace gets stolen during her birthday party. It was a shameless rip-off of a similar story I had at home on my shelf. I wrote and wrote. Then I tore up what I wrote. Then I wrote some more. I disliked my final result because the illustrations were terrible (though when I look back, I think I was a better artist then than I am now) and I wasn't satisfied with my story. The plot seemed weak and predictable. Worse, it lacked suspense. Mrs. Izatt gave me an A that I didn't think I deserved.

So I tried to write another story, a better story. I still wasn't satisfied. Another story, a better story. No matter what I wrote, I knew I could write better. So I did -- through elementary school, through junior high, through high school -- and though college has slowed me down, I have never stopped writing. I've become too used to one-upping myself. I paid enough attention in my English classes to learn the rules so I could justify breaking them later. I wrote essays as they were assigned and then set them aside in favor of creative writing projects. The essays never seemed to suffer from the neglect, though I admit I feel vaguely guilty every time I see an A on an essay I churned out at ten o'clock the night before.

Yes, I procrastinate. And the less I care, the more I procrastinate. So I created a system for myself that helps me to care: I try to turn all of my writing assignments into creative writing projects because that is where my interest lies. Many of the students who come in are so uninterested in what they write, it shows in their writing. And these students know their boredom shows in their writing. In turn, this knowledge leads to a perpetual fear of being boring.

My advice? Blessed are those who can entertain themselves with their writing, for they shall never be boring.

Genesis of the Written Word

I started writing seriously because a teacher thought I could. Not that writing requires formal permission of any kind, but that's just the way it worked out for me: a teacher allowed me to write and so I did.

I had written a description of Autumn (you know the type where one reflects on the falling leaves, the sunsets, and the changing colors. All of which really isn't Fall at all, but that's how I described it as a 6th grader.) and had taken the bold move to ask my all-knowing Language Arts teacher her opinion of what I had written. What she said changed my mind forever.

"I think it might work as a poem."

That's it: eight words, twenty four letters, a few connected syllables that changed my perspective on writing.

Certainly, I had written many descriptions before, and had also written those cutesy poems where one looks for words that rhyme with "big" or "fat" but what my language arts teacher did was to offer me a glimpse into the real writing that is available for each of us but is not always seen from the surface.

From that experience I wrote many bad poems, which of course I was extremely proud of because how many true middle school poets are there in the world? And eventually I came to reaize that worthwhile writing requires work, time, and real effort to produce.

But of course I didn't come to realize this by osmosis. I had several teachers who encouraged my writing, however horrible it must of been, and, I'm not totally proud of this, I was very persistent in seeking out readers and listeners.

Unfortunately, I don't think all students have had this type of positive exposure to writing. Often, it seems, students are simply thrown into this world with no guide, and are told to produce a piece of writing as foreign to the student as the jungles of Congo. That, I think, is the biggest problem I see most college writers facing.

So, how are we to change this confusing and unknown view of the world? By, giving students a positive experience with writing. I know that sounds overly simplified, but I think sometimes we over estimate the power of a good experience. Perhaps one good experience might have the power to deride the apprehensions about writing enough for some good persistence to seep in.

A memorable classroom experience

When I was young, my mom read to me all the time and always encouraged me to read on my own. I have enjoyed reading ever since. In high school, I learned some of the basics about writing from my English teachers. But until I went to college, I think that I learned more about writing from reading good books than I did from any teacher. (Maybe that’s why I was such a bad writer!?)

I can remember the class I was in and the paper I was writing when I first realized what a terrible writer I was. I was finishing my generals and had room to take a few extra classes. I signed up for Dr. Elsley’s English 3280 Biographical Writing course. It was intimidating—my first upper division English class. I almost dropped out after the first week, but Dr. Elsley was so nice and kind and encouraging that I stayed. (Maybe that’s a good way to tutor as well?)

My writing was awful, but I experienced for the first time what Murray called self-discovery. (Yeah, I know how it sounds!!) That was probably the first time I really cared about what I was writing. I finally had something to say and I found a bit of my own truth as I struggled to say it. That class changed a lot about the way I think and write and read.

Dr. Elsley taught her class in a way that promoted the learning PROCESS. She used many of the principles that Murray mentions in his article. She was quiet, she listened, she waited, she responded, she showed respect, she cared. She helped her students find their own voice as writers, and helped them do it better than they did before.

A last thought about apathy

In the dictionary apathetic is defined as “having no emotion” and apathy as “a lack of interest or feeling.” I am most apathetic about my own writing when I simply don’t have anything to say—when I don’t feel strongly enough about anything to even write it down. Sometimes I want to write, but realize that there is nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said before by someone else, and said better then I could ever say it. When I walk through the library I often wonder how many of those books actually deserve to be there. So, what’s the point?

What I have started to learn about writing is that we don’t have to write for others. Sure we have to turn in a paper, get a grade, pass the class; but that’s all secondary. In the opening chapter of my grammar book for English 3050 Joseph M. Williams says, “I also know that the more clearly we write, the more clearly we see and feel and think.” A tutor can’t always MAKE a student be interested in the subject at hand, but the tutor can always try to teach the tools necessary to write well, so that one day—when the student finally has something to say—he can.

[Untitled Track]

It's difficult to remember where I learned to write from. I know I started learning the alphabet in kindergarten. My Nana even taught me to read lots of words using flash cards when I was three. It all kind of went from there.

I was a bad student in high school and didn't take any fancy AP classes. I did have some regular English classes, creative writing, and journalism. But I'm really not sure when the light started to come on inside my head. The light that was guiding me and showing me the difference between good and bad writing. It was probably sometime around high school when I kept a journal. So much of my writting skills have merely been attained through practicing a lot, writing like hell no matter what it was about, lots of train of thought processes, and even sitting in a busy room and writing down random things people were saying. I had to exercise my imagination and I didn't know how to draw or play music so writing was all I had.

Then in my college career I started off taking some literature and public speaking classes. A lot of what I learned through analyzing other people's work and writing speeches (specifically in regards to knowing your audience and what you wanted them to walk away with) was really what started to sharpen my writing skills. It's truly amazing to me how even a botany class I once took helped me with my writing. So while we are all trying to learn things from wherever we can and apply them somewhere to our lives, I was applying it all to writing. All in the hopes of one day my writing coming back and applying itself to me somehow. And it has every now and again.

Most of my technical writing skills have come from English 1010 and 2010. I do believe it is important to have technical training and writing assignments. Research papers can become such monsters that get out of hand. But working all semester on them and constantly revising them taught me a lot about the way I write, my strengths and weaknesses, and even my limitations. I believe that a student should be encouraged to write as freely as they want. Yet I also believe that students need to learn rules and boundaries and be told what to write and how in order to become better writers. And rules are such funny things in the world of writing. Especially when you learn how to effectively break them. I'm not so effective yet.

The obstacles I've seen students so far trying to overcome have been sentence structuring. The 1010 students have some difficulty knowing where to end sentences or making them sound complete. They misuse commas a lot or maybe use them too excessively. With that particular problem I ask them to read that sentence out loud and hear how it sounds. And at times if it is too confusing to know how to break up that sentence, I may suggest just rewording it entirely to be safe. I don't know if that's good advice or not. While I'm sure there are more global issues that students have had with their papers, I've still not had too many sessions to be able to recognize what some of their other obstacles are.

Know Thyself

Holy, rusted metal Batman! Earlier today I tutored one woman whose breath was so bad, it smelled like peaches that had bred with a rotting corpse. It was a horrible mutation of bad peach breath. It was suggested to me to offer a mint and if it is not accepted to hold the mint as if ammonium carbonate, or smelling salt.

OH FYI this post is in random order only.

I was always told in order for one to write one needs to have a systematic, structured approach. There must be an introduction, the body of your text, and a conclusion. Basically your five paragraph essay. In my creative writing class, however, we were allowed to write whatever, however we wanted and I realized for me to write well, I need to write what I know. That pretty much goes for everybody because you can't successfully write on something you know nothing about. Obstacles I see in the students coming in are that they want to use big words to sound professional. While focusing on the words, the text loses all meaning--if there's any to be found.

The obstacles I am trying overcome are all the reading that is required and the many papers that are due--tomorrow! Yup, everywhere I go there's a chapter needs readin' or an assignment needs handin'in. If I could only get ahead. I will, I must.

Some of us were still a little confused as to how the responses work for this class. Of course, not me, though.

I sat watching a seasoned tutor help a young man with his essay. I heard her ask really good question and said I was going to steal it. The next day in class and Scott reminded everyone about the observations that are due I smacked myself in the head because I didn’t write down the question. Stupid, stupis! Stupid, stupis!

He was able to connect with the tutor. The tutee felt he was really concentrated on the paper. Here this is your pencil and if you find anything that you want to change during the session feel free to and if there’s anything I see that I want to change I’ll do it.
I feel with each tutoring session I get a better handle on it, but when another ESL comes I know I’m going to take a beating in confidence. My first people I tutored were ESL, so that kinda made me leery of them.

I want to drop-kick a baby here...

Well, since our discussion in class, it has gotten me thinking about my teachers over the years and their approaches to this beautiful, intoxicating thing called writing. Back in elementary school, it was all about linking the visual with what we're writing. The teacher would show us a picture, and we would all write a story about what's going on in it. It was very creative, and I enjoyed it, but it stunted my growth in writing. It wasn't until junior high that grammar and structure came into play, and the teachers all of a sudden turned into writing nazis. My 8th grade teacher would go into hysterics if we didn't diagram a sentence properly. We spent hours per week poring over those grammar books and practicing sentence clauses and all for what? I don't think any of that reflected the quality of my papers at all. I was still at the drawing board.
High school was the breaking point of my writing career. This was the time when the teacher broke it down for us. The four essential qualities of a paper: tone, meaning, audience, and purpose. Thesis, body, conclusion. Make those opening sentences reflect the thesis. All of these things were essential to the teacher, but more often than not all she was worried about was our success in passing the AP test and writing an effective essay in an hour. That was it! My mind was too consumed with the AP test to care if my writing progressed. Which it did, but only to a certain extent.
Throughout this great process that I'm going through, I'm trying to keep up my creative energies as well as my practical, classroom work. I want the hippie as well as the nazi, and throughout tutoring I'm always torn over whether a student should stay within the confines of the assignment or create something unique that may or may not stay in his gold star folder. I know that those 1010 and 2010 kids just want an A paper, and we just want the grade and get it over with, but is that it? Should writing always be technical? Should writing always be unfinished? I just don't see the glass, man!

Apathy, when the feeling's gone and you can't go on...

Sorry, Abba fans. It just popped into my head.

When I think about the concourses of university students trying to write papers, it's one of the things I can most identify with. How many of us are stuck on Sunday night, knowing full well we had three weeks to write a paper but that tv show was just too tempting (Katie can relate with me) and we delayed that stupid thing so long that it's now bitten our behinds? Yes, this little thing that I am so guilty of as much as apathy is called procrastination. And when the procrastination gets longer, the apathy increases and vice versa. I am famous for waiting until the very last second before a paper is due. You know that phrase "I work best under pressure"?
So to tie this in with what I've been learning as a tutor, there's always a sense of urgency that I see with students writing papers. They want it done and they want it done now. It's how we, as the tutors, take the time to sit with them and make sure that they made this job of writing a paper a little bit better than what they originally slopped together. We may be just working on a paper with them on the outside, but they are the ones who are letting time be on their side for a change and letting their words talk back to them. If we help students take the time to decrease their procrastination, then the apathy goes down with the student's ability to grasp their writing. Sometimes it takes two people to make time slow down a little.

I Learned to Write Before I was Born

My great grandfather wrote in his school paper. He went to Weber State Academy and was known for his ability to write. I really don't know much else about him but about ten years ago I read something he wrote. I was sceptical about it (whether it was really going to be good), because that's how I am, but I remember thinking it really was great. So I've thought maybe I have a writer's gene that gives me a little sense of what sounds good even without any real knowledge of how to write (or at least that gives me a reason to believe I can write).

I've always done well when I have been given writing assignments growing up. In fourth grade I was given a writing assignment to write a tall tale. I remember getting much praise. My story just floated out and made sense and qualified as a tall tale. I guess that was good writing. As a young primary girl I was given a talk in church. I didn't understand how to research topics for a "talk" so I wrote my own story about a bug that had to overcome trials against the odds and read it to the listeners. It seemed to get my point accross. In Junior high I had similar experiences with poetry. My English teacher gave my class an assignment to write a poem in ten minutes. She told me she was surprized that I could just sit down and write as well as I did in such a short amount of time. I guess I knew what I had to say.

When I came to college I was introduced to writing and rewriting which I thought was boring and long but I did it thinking I should trust that something good would come of it. I guess it has. I have learned to be more efficient, more interested in what I have to say and less interested in what I think my readers may want to hear. Of course I had to learn to produce what my professors want for an "A" and in the process of doing so I think I have learned how to write better--at least a better paper--and improved on my mechanics.

My Intro to Literature professor said one day, looking into my baby blues, "I see your eyes have been opened". I think part of growing up is learning to write and part of writing is growing up. I have spent time enjoying classes where I read books I would never have read and thought about answers to life's questions I never would have thought up without the class and the book and the writing. Learning about other people and their thoughts has given me ideas on how to communicate, to speak, to write. I have been able to experience a different part of my self.

The time I've spent on writing research papers, however, I didn't much enjoy. At first I didn't mind the research--I found that part extremely interesting--but the writing became a chore until I took a couple of world history classes. Then everything about research changed. I liked what I was learning, writing, and feeling. It was an outlet for me to see the world with bigger eyes and tell a story with my own opinion attached. Or my observations. It was a challenge but not so hard that I didn't find satisfaction in the whole experience.

Writing is something we can all do whether we have the writer's gene or not. I don't always write well. In fact, I usually write kinda lousily, but I figure as long as I keep doing it I will keep getting better and I think doing so has helped me uncover things about myself and other things that I had previously been blind to. For someone else the reason for writing may never be for anything other than to get a grade but I don't think it will ever be something I'll regret doing, especially if I can pass it on to my posterity.

memories...

It's interesting--we "veteran" tutors expressed all the same doubts and fears. We're all still here. It's funny how it seems to happen. Someone comes in needing help and all the other tutors are busy, so you gather your nerve and offer to take the session, and sit down nervous and sure of screwing up...and then that part of you that knows and loves writing kicks in and it's the easiest thing in the world. It still seems to take about a month to stop cringing when a person with a paper in hand appears in the doorway.

Tell you what, though. It sure feels nice when someone you don't even remember announces his (or her) grade to you and says thank you. Last Christmas, the lady who used to intimidate me the most at the financial aid window made me peanut clusters to say thank you for my help. Now she's illustrating a children's book I wrote.

For a veteran, I'm an awfully lot of a beginner still. This student came in wanting to know how to write a formal research proposal. I don't know! So I told her I didn't know. Then I started looking for resources to help. I may not be able to teach her to write one, but I can point her to the information and then make sure it makes sense after she writes it. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't have to know the student's subject, as long as I know mine.

Meta

For the next couple of weeks, we're going to be talking about how we teach writing and why we teach it the way we do. This week, I'd like for you all to reflect a little on how you learned how to write—either in class or otherwise—and what kinds of obstacles you see other students attempting to overcome.

So much fresh air

I will openly admit that my thoughts are not currently solidified with regard to apathy and writing, but I will venture to say that it is as much a global issue (literally) as lack of a thesis is to an essay.

I still flinch every time I hear someone proudly declare the inevitable phrase in a classroom setting that always follows this form: "When are we ever going to use this? Why do I need to learn this when I'll never use it in my career?" Maybe it's just the way the perpetrator usually giggles cheesily to his buddies that irks me the most, but it frustrates me when we put a cap on our capacity to learn. Any exercise, any assignment, any resistance can strengthen or weaken us. If somebody chooses to ignore the profound freedom in creative and expressive writing, then let it be. But I think we allow ourselves to slip quietly too often into apathy, and so much fresh air is lost in a vast room of old breath. Idealistic? Probably. Too idealistic for a new tutor? Maybe. But I guess you know now to keep a closer watch on my responses in class to catch me in an apathetic complaint. You can smile and remind me to not miss that which could "strengthen" me. And I guess we could do the same for the patrons of the writing center.