Why does it only sound creepy when I say it?

This blog entry is probably a little too late, but I have to do it because I’m a nerd and not doing homework makes me crazy.

I admit that I have broken a few rules. I’ve taken over sessions and just basically told the student what to write, and I’ve been impatient.

Annnyhow…now that everyone’s a little uncomfortable I’ll make a bad analogy: I break the rules at work much like I smoke cigarettes; hardly ever, but when I’m stressed out and busy, I’ll do it at least once a day. It’s easy to follow the rules when you have time. If every session were 40 minutes long and all the students were there because they genuinely wanted to be, then it’d be easy to develop rapport, ask questions, organize globally and locally, and make sure that the only marks on the paper are those of the student. If you follow the rules then this is what should happen in every tutoring session, right?

At the beginning of the semester this type of ideal scenario was a possibility, and it was easy to follow the rules. Towards the end it all changed. Suddenly there were all these students lined up out the door, and we even had to tutor outside and keep sessions as short as possible. Some of them were mad too because they were being forced to be there and they couldn’t have cared less about stupid writing our about any stupid thesis or about how stupid the stupid paragraph topic sentences that the stupid professor was making them do for the stupid English class that they’ll never need because they’re going to be a nurse anyway and they heard that nurses never need to use stupid writing anyway so just sign the stupid evaluation paper and let them go already. That was different.

During those busy sessions I often found myself doing the majority of the work. I’d try to ask them leading questions and they’d just sit there and look at me until I gave a good suggestion. The trick where the tutor waits out the student would have worked, but like I said, there were people lined up out the door and time was short.

Another bad situation that I found myself in around the end of the semester was that while all of us would be trying our best to keep the program running smoothly, there would always be one person who just refused to disengage from a session. The 20 minutes would be up and this student wouldn’t take any hints (polite or otherwise) that the session was O-V-E-R and that other students needed help too. So this is where I kind of got a little more impatient than I should have, I guess.

Well, that’s all that I’m willing to confess too. I’m sure I broke a few other rules too. Maybe I’ll think of them later on. If you were working with me I probably ate all the life savers in the candy dish. That’s not really a broken rule, but it is rude. Forgive me.

"Cheating" can be good

Throughout the semester, the purpose and goal of tutoring has been repeatedly emphasized––tutors don’t just help students to write better papers, they teach students to be better writers. If every session were ideal and the time tutors spent with students was unlimited, it might be possible for tutors to accomplish this goal: students could look up all the answers to their questions in the reference books, they would be able to write out the main topics of each paragraph and how they relate one to another, they would be interested in grammar, and their cell phones would never ring—and if they did, they would not answer them--and if they were rude and answered their phone during a session, they certainly wouldn't block the door at the institute building so the tutor they had already offended smashed her face into it and then insult her afterwards. . . (Of course, that situation is completely hypothetical.)

But tutoring sessions are not ideal, and time is not unlimited. Sometimes—especially before the last week of school—there are so many students waiting for help that a tutor just wishes the student she is helping would read a little faster, think a little quicker, look up the answer on his or her own time, and stay focused on the writing. When I am in a situation similar to the one I have described, I tell myself to relax and try to handle one student and one concern at a time. While telling myself this may help me to calm down, it does not make the clock move slower or make students more patient. So, sometimes I “cheat” and step a little outside my role as a tutor.

For example, what if the student doesn’t know how to cite a movie in his research paper using APA format? Instead of giving the student the APA manual and waiting for five, ten, or twenty-five minutes while he learns everything about APA format except how to cite a movie, I look it up for him. I don’t want him to relax and lose interest so I show him where I found it (if I actually managed to find it myself), then I give him the book so he can read the answer and fix his paper. I always hope the student learns enough to do it on his or her own, but sometimes that is wishful thinking—sometimes there is just not enough time to teach as patiently and properly as I want to.

What if the student doesn’t know how to spell a word? If there is time, I tell the student to find it in the dictionary, but more often than not, I look it up myself or just write it out on the paper if I already know how to spell it. Or if I am really busy, I just tell the student that the word looks wrong and that they need to look it up after the session because we don’t have time now. This same problem can present itself in many forms and there are many ways for tutors to handle it. Although tutors always want to teach students properly and with care, they also need to consider real-life issues such as time, other students, and their own sanity. Sometimes “cheating” a little is in the best interest of everyone involved.

Boxes and Things

And so today marks the end of my fall semester. I came. I saw. I conquered. And I am now sick to prove it. All of the stress and all of the late nights have finally caught up with me. At the moment, I sound worse than a frog on drugs and my thought pattern may be slightly muddled by whatever it was that I took half an hour ago. I don't remember its name. It makes me feel kind of fuzzy. (But not soft and it's not making me big and strong, unlike whatever Greg took out of the writing center.)

Anyway, I went out to my garage this morning to find a box. All Christmas presents should be put in boxes. I say this because I am a Christmas snoop and when I see presents for me underneath the Christmas tree, I shake them. A book that is not in a box is not fun to shake, but a book in a box . . . oh, what delight! (What can I say? I'm a girl who enjoys simple pleasures.) Anyway, the boxes reminded me of "staying inside the box," which reminded me of rules, which reminded me that I had not yet written this blog! My mind works in odd ways sometimes. Heck, forget sometimes. My mind works in odd ways all the time. If you don't believe me, ask my family -- those wonderful six people who have spent much of their time in conversation with me with their heads cocked, their eyebrows raised, and with the word "Huh?" practically etched on their foreheads.

I digress. Boxes! I was talking about boxes. I like boxes. Always have. Like I said, they make gifts noisier than they normally would be. They are handy for packing things. And they are also great toys. Playing inside boxes is fun. Perhaps this mentality may be the reason I am prone to avoiding tutoring "outside the box." I just enjoy the inside of the box too much. I've always been the type of girl who enjoyed coloring inside the lines more than moving my crayon outside of them. But coloring inside the lines does not mean I always used the logical colors. I delighted in purple Christmas trees and orange gingerbread cookies, brown snow (mmm, looked like melted chocolate) and fluorescent pink ducks.

I would say I adapt the rules more often than I break them. After all, I need structure in my life! Just not too much! I have given students words. But from the looks of the blogs so far, who hasn't? I have given students topical suggestions. If that's a crime, then punish me -- for doing something that would advance the rest of the session. I wrote on a student's paper. Cut off my hand if you want, but first let me point out that she was dyslexic and this was the only way I could help her.

When all things are said and done, the people who make the rules know even as they make them that someday, someone will break them. Just as my family knows even as they wrap my gifts in boxes that once those gifts are under the tree, I will shake them.

Giving Answers and Randomness

I don't really know if it is breaking the law--- was it Dr. Rogers who says that "breaking rules" implies that there are strict rules and guidelines how to tutor?---But I have given answers before in tutoring sessions before. Is it so wrong to help a struggling tutee? After all, he/she came in for your help. If I just stare and not give any kind of aid at all--- what good am I to the student? Often times---when it comes to thinking of the right wording or something--- the best way to say what needs to be said--- I will think out loud. "What if you flip the sentence around? How does that sound? Or maybe if you use this word instead of that. What do you think? What other ways could you re-word this?" I also like to give options. That way, the student has control of the paper and the revision process. I think it is okay to give answers in this way, as long as when the whatever-the-thing-you-helped-fix comes up again in the paper, you let the student do the same---think out loud. And then, be sure to compliment. Let the student know he/she did well.

My brother-in-law has (and does) tutored me in math. He and I will do a problem together and I'll ask lots of questions. He'll teach me tricks and ways to remember how to do the problem. And he gives me the answer. Thenhe will give me another problem: one that looks like the one we did together. But this time, he won't tell me the answer. He'll let me struggle with it and get as far as I can in the problem before he helps. When he finally gives me the answer, though, he doesn't just say whether it is right or wrong. He tells me what I did good-- or what I didn't do so well; he tells me why, too. And then he gives me another problem or we move on. I think it is the same way with writing. At least, I use this same tactic when I tutor. I also ask questions and let the writer explain the concept back to me.

Giving answers may sound like I am “breaking the rules,” and at face value, giving answers is against the law. Tutors don’t want to do someone else’s paper. But you also don’t want to not be helpful. I don’t know which is worse: taking over a session, or not giving the help that is needed.

Anyway, I’d like to switch gears and ask a random question. Are we done blogging, then? Because--- I like the blogs. I mostly like to read and comment, but I don’t mind writing them. If anyone wants to write more blogs, even over the break, I’ll read them and comment if you want. Good luck with stress week/ finals, everyone. Have a happy holiday break.