Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of my most favorite times of the year. This year has been super interesting for me because I have a lot going on.

First off, it's National Novel Writing Month and I'm trying to crank out 50,000 words by midnight on November 30th, and I'm about 7,000 words behind. So that's definitely something I'll be working on during Thanksgiving break.

And secondly, I'm moving out. I've been spending my days at the store buying supplies for the new apartment and trying to find furniture and other essentials. The plan is to be completely moved in by the day after Thanksgiving, so all the heavy lifting will probably take place the day before and all day the day after.

Other than this, I really don't have any other plans other than hanging out with my sister while she's home from college. I think it's going to be a great break; I'm super excited to move out of my house. I just hope that I can catch up with NaNoWriMo at the same time....

I LOVE the Holiday season!

Anyone who really knows me could tell you that I am a Christmas fanatic. I have been listening to Christmas music since November 1st, and I recently convinced my roommates to let me decorate our fridge to look like a snowman. For me, Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the Christmas season. Needless to say, I am so excited that it is coming up so soon. My plans are still a little bit up in the air, but I know that I for sure will meeting up with my family.  We sort of alternate between doing Thanksgiving at our house in Pocatello and at my Grandma and Grandpa's house here in Ogden, but this year we will probably end up in Ogden. My grandma is recovering from surgery and it would be easier for her not to travel. Regardless of where we end up we will do about the same thing. If we don't sleep in too late we will watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV while we work on dinner, and then eat Thanksgiving dinner at like 2 or 3. I'm sure some of you think that is weird that we eat so early in the day, but that is just how it has always been for me. We usually take a break to watch football, clean up, and take a nap maybe, but then we usually watch a movie together as a family. I think we might go and see Skyfall. Anyhow, I am excited for a break from my usual routine, and I am even more excited to get to see all of my family.

Respecting Wishes

In regards to the tutoring center accommodating a foreign student's discomfort, I find that I am quite torn. There is a part of me that thinks the center making an exception for these student's is simply enabling prejudice. I feel like there is something morally wrong with us allowing a student to be racist, sexist etc... Yet at the same time, I really believe in the concept that the writing center should be a safe place for learning. Forcing a student to be in a situation where they are uncomfortable goes completely against that idea.

Dr. Rogers example of a southerner studying abroad who is opposed to being tutored by a black tutor really trips me up.I think that in my mind I place racism and sexism on different levels of offensiveness, so I look at this situation based purely on my belief that no racism should be tolerated. I am not saying that I am fine with people being sexist, I am just pointing out that I think racism is far more ugly. I would really hope that a writing center in another country would not allow the southern student to be so openly prejudiced towards the black tutor. If this situation took place in our writing center, I personally would not feel good about us allowing the student to turn down a session with a black tutor. If I had any say in the situation, I would  politely tell the student that the tutor was perfectly qualified to help them and then allow them to make the choice to either be tutored by the black tutor or to leave and maybe come back another time.

I find it interesting that the only times I have felt slightly discriminated against because I was a woman the tutee was not a foreign student. I have always felt respected by the Arabic/Saudi students that I have tutored, and in fact I think they are among the most gracious visitors to the writing center. That being said, if a foreign student came in and refused to be tutored by one of our female tutors, I ultimately think that I would let them wait until a male tutor is available. Like Aisley and Amanda have brought up, a session with someone who doesn't respect or feel comfortable with you is not going to be very productive. Students and tutors alike deserve to feel at ease when they are on campus. If a student felt uncomfortable with me, chances are I would feel very uncomfortable as well. As much as I would like to stand up against discrimination and bias, I have concluded that the writing center is not the right avenue for me to do that. While I am on the clock I am representing the university, and I think that WSU promotes the safe learning environment I mentioned earlier. I hope to have an opportunity someday outside of my job where I can make a difference and voice my opinions on judging people based on race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. but until that time I will respect the wishes of foreign tutees who feel uncomfortable working with women.

Escape from Vegas

I have a passionate dislike for holidays. I'm one of those people that bad holiday movies are based on -- and no, not the warm fuzzy ones where everything goes bad but then everyone loves each other in the end. My mom's visiting New York while she care of her dying parents. My dad's in New York planning to roast a freshly hunted deer on a spit in the woods behind his house with his drunk red-neck hunting buddies and his wife (this is a step up from last year, when they took their beer and guns up on the roof and shot clay pidgeons from there). My boyfriend wants me to spend the day with his family. His family has so many traditions that his grandpa has 50 year-old glass milk containers from Winder Dairy that he fills with wal-mart chocolate milk so that the family can pour their chocolate milk from the traditional glass jugs. This seems a bit...uh...well, I guess I'll politely say this level of tradition perplexes me. I've considered joining the ranks of people in tents on cement sidewalks waiting for that elusive and life-fulfilling black friday deal. This is an experience I've never had. And I've always wondered what sort of person does that -- perhaps Black Friday culture was built by and founded on people who have no place to go for holidays? I'll probably end up at the homeless shelter. No, not cold and hungry with my backpack, but serving. The dudes down at the rescue mission mare some of my favorite people. The big dude who's always smoking makes me laugh -- I never quite expect the things that he says. The little dude who's in charge of volunteers is a chuckle and a half. (i'm not sure what that phrase means, but it sounded good right then). Happy holidays!

Thanksgiving Plans

I'm not entirely sure of what I will be doing for Thanksgiving, but I have not purchased a ticket to fly home so hopefully my family will decide to spend Thanksgiving in Utah. I really do not want to drive home for Thanksgiving and then back down again for winter break. My father's family lives in Sandy so my family might decide to come up to celebrate with them because he doesn't see them very often. We have only spent Thanksgiving with my dad's family one other time, and it wasn't much of a success because they aren't from the United States and don't really understand much about a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner. My grandma is a great cook, but only when it comes to traditional Brazilian foods. Its really quite funny to watch them celebrate Thanksgiving because it doesn't really apply to them at all, but they have tried to adapt to the "American ways." Also, these family gatherings are pretty comical because of my dad's inability to remember to translate for us. The last Thanksgiving we spent with them consisted of a burnt turkey, cold mashed potatoes, and no sight of stuffing, gravy, or pumpkin pie. They were nice enough to try for us, and it was worth it to be able to spend time with them.

Regardless of the past mess, I would still much rather spend Thanksgiving up here than have to drive down to Las Vegas. I actually really love this holiday, and I look forward to seeing my family again. Oh and I'm tremendously excited to go shopping the day afterwards.

Slacker Prompt!

What are your plans for Thanksgiving?

To -Ism, or Not to -Ism

On the one hand, the answer is that we don’t accommodate students exhibiting sexism. If I, as a tutor, refused to take a session because the tutee was female, black, homosexual, Muslim, etc, I would be severely reprimanded (if I even still had a job at that point. I’m honestly not sure since I can’t find it in the manual and didn’t stress because I don’t plan on refusing anyone). Thus, why should the tutee be able to discriminate when the peer tutors can’t? It unbalances the relationship we strive to maintain with the students on the basis of equality. How can the power be even if one side can refuse the other on the basis of an -ism generally considered rather offensive? As a student tutor, don’t I have “the right to be respected and treated as an equal” as stated in the Student Bill of Rights?

Yet on the other hand, the National Association of Tutorial Services Tutor Code of Ethics states that “I will not impose my personal value system or lifestyle on my student” nor will I “use a tutoring session to proselytize my personal belief system.” We’re also expected to act “for the benefit and welfare of students” while “avoid[ing] issues” of “conflict of interest [and] bias” that “could jeopardize this helping stance” according to the Writing Center Ethics Discussion.

So, the answer seems very much split. As human beings, we should not have to put up with anyone discriminating against us for any reason. As tutors, it seems that we are expected to be accommodating and set aside personal belief in the interests of helping the tutee. Personally, I’m not really bothered by this type of discrimination being directed towards me. If someone doesn’t want to work with me because I’m male, or white, or Mormon, I’d rather go and help someone who does want my help.

This is also difficult for me to take a stand on because one of my “cultural values” states that homosexual people should not be allowed to be married in an LDS Temple. I have no problem with, and in fact support, the right of any adult couple in a consensual relationship to have that relationship recognized by the government, but I worry that legalizing gay marriage might eventually lead to a confrontation between the LGBT community and LDS Church leaders even worse than the one following Prop 8. How can I expect to hold onto what could be considered a special case of bigotry while denying someone else their cultural value of being tutor by a man instead of a woman?

It would be nice if we could all live according to our beliefs in a sort of isolation, but the world isn’t that neat or simple. Cultures are going to clash whenever and where ever they connect. The Writing Center does not have the time and resources to fight against every -ism, not when there are other students waiting and willing to meet with the first available tutor. Let the bigots sit and sulk on our comfortable couch.

Don't Be Afraid of the Emotional Student

Crying students don’t scare me because I  know what it’s like to be emotional in an awkward situation. I’m the kind of person who cries easily and I’ve been in situations before where my emotions are running high and I’m crying in front of a stranger or on the bus and I can’t do anything about it. Knowing what it feels like to be emotional dispels the fear of other people being emotional in front of me.

The first piece of advice I would give to someone who is in a situation with an emotional student would be to step back and analyze the situation. Perhaps this student is experiencing emotions that are new or unprocessed. Writing takes a lot of emotional stamina that many students are not prepared to exert. They could be using this writing assignment as a method of self-therapy. You may need to advise the student that they seem to be too close to the topic they are writing, and in extreme cases, advise the student to pick a new topic entirely. Outside factors also contribute to being emotional. Learning to recognize the HALT signals will help tutors in these situations. The HALT signals are Hungry, Anxious (or Angry), Lonely (or Low Self-Esteem), and Tired. Without directly asking the student, you can assess the situation and make recommendations accordingly. Realizing that your student may be hungry or tired can help you adjust your tutoring style to fit accordingly.

It is important to be alert and prepared when a student is emotional. At times it is best to keep focused on the paper, and at others you need to play the role of supportive peer. No person is an island and we can all help out when we see someone going through a rough time. You can really make a difference by being kind when a student is dealing with difficult problems. Sometimes what a student really needs to hear is someone affirming that what they are dealing with is difficult. If what they really need is a therapist, do not hesitate to direct them to the therapists on campus that they have already paid for with their student fees.

Sometimes the most we need to do in this sort of situation is empathize with the student that what they are going through is difficult. When I’m upset, sometimes what I really want is for someone to agree that my situation sucks. It’s funny how a little empathy goes a long way. Maybe your student won’t remember the IC FANBOYS IC rule, but they will remember that they got support on a really difficult day and that they didn't feel rejected or ignored. This is crucial if we want students to keep coming to college.

unfortunately accommodating

I missed Wednesday’s class because I had to take my daughter to the doctor’s where she was put on mad doses of amoxicillin. She’s still not betterL. Anyway, I really feel like I missed out because the discussion you guys had sounds interesting. I am a feminist and am greatly offended by the thought that students would prefer not to be tutored by a woman. Of course there are degrees to feminism and categories to which I could label myself, but I would just rather summarize my thinking into one declarative sentence: I believe women are as capable as men and should be given equal opportunities in the workplace, at schools, and at home. I also believe this concept goes both ways. Neither sex should be undervalued. Though I recognize the fact that men are naturally good at certain things while women are inherently good at others, I do not accept the idea of appeasing one gender by oppressing the other.

I am not exactly sure what I would do with a student that was disinclined to have me tutor him. I acknowledge that I am a lot of talk because actually implementing my beliefs is much different than proclaiming them. I am sure that if a male tutor was available I would defer the student and then justify my thinking by internally saying, “I don’t want to deal with people like that. I am glad someone else was here to tutor him.” When in reality I would be lying to myself. Ideally, I would have the courage to say, “Here in the writing center, the administration focuses on hiring a diverse but very qualified group of students to tutor you. If you are uncomfortable, please feel free to take it up with the administration. Have a nice day.” Ha ha ha. I would never do this for two reasons. One, I don’t have the guts. Two, I don’t know if that is how the writing center would want me to handle the situation. In reality I would probably swallow hard and find my professional courtesy to assist me in my reaction to the situation whilst helping him to his seat to wait for the next available male tutor.

I have been told by family and friends that I am naturally kind-hearted. I choose to see the good in people and focus less on outside appearances. I would use this ability to remember that the student who has been misinformed about women’s capabilities is not at fault. And I am not sure if it is or is not my place to educate him. Therefore, I think operating from a place of understanding and kindness is the best way to handle any student.

The idea of a racist student from the South refusing to be tutored by a black tutor, and having his demands accommodated, upsets me. I tend to shy away from conflict and believe the world would be a more peaceful place if more people strived to do so but at the same time, when people’s rights are not being respected, the line needs to be drawn.