Unqualified?

As I read past blog posts on what people were most scared about, I recognized a basic theme. Most of them weren't really "scared" about the tutoring, but rather were just anxious. One in particular mentioned how he hadn't even thought about "what he was scared about," until he had to write a blog about. I, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. I feel like I was scared to start the job, I felt like I was unqualified. Being hired right on the spot made me initially feel like I was hired out of desperation.

As the first week passed, much of my "fright" dissipated.  As I learned new information in class, and freshened up on the small grammatical errors, I felt I could become a better a tutor. I still had a problem, I had no time to "become" a tutor; I already was one. This made me question my decision again. I thought back to the experience I do have and relieved my stress... a little. I was a tutor and that wasn't going to change, so I had to step it up and be the tutor I wanted to be. The only way I was able to overcome my fright was I had to jump right in. If I was going to be a tutor, I couldn't stand in the back and let everyone else do my job.

One day a student came in who needed help with "Body Ritual among the Narcirema." Not 20 minutes prior had I observed a Master Tutor with the same assignment. If I was going to be a qualifed tutor, I just needed to jump right in. It was scary at first, to say the lease. I wasn't sure what I was going to say or do, but I needed to tutor, not just for me, but for them as well. As we began talking about what the article might mean, I got scared I might mess up and ruin the paper for her. I just pushed on. One thought was constantly at the back of my head "She doesn't know this is my first time tutoring." With that deep in my brain I was able to tutor her with great efficiency. By the end of the session the tutee was well impressed in what she had learned.

My first tutor session was a changing point for me. I still felt like I had a lot to learn, but I realized I didn't have to know everything in order to help others learn. At first, I was scared because I didn't know it all, and now I am simply curious as to what I can learn. I hope as time passes that I will always have something to learn, whether it is from my students I'm tutoring or my coworkers around me. I should never expect to know it all.

On Nervousness

Preston Carter

When tutoring, I get especially nervous that a student’s instructor might not agree with the way that I am teaching their student to write.  It is somewhat unreasonable. Still, I worry that a professor might grade a student badly based on some advice I give them, whether I have actually given bad information or my own preferential advice. The fear aides my tutoring in that it makes me ask more experienced tutors for their advice more often and check my own information. But, it also makes me overly cautious for I fear that I might be responsible for misinforming a student or even for giving preferential guidance that a particular instructor is not happy with.

One thing that others seem to be nervous about is that they have forgotten much of their tutoring and English techniques and rules over the summer break. I was nervous about this, but I quickly remembered most of my previous training from my internship on my first days back working in the writing center. I was nervous at the start, but it all came back quickly. I’m sure that part of it was the classes that I was enrolled in over the summer which gave me some review of grammar and syntax concepts and introduction to new concepts in English.

Another post that resonated with me was the poster who talked about a writer’s overestimation of his/herself. I have always thought that I wrote pretty well. Well, let me be truthful, I always thought I wrote extremely well. I have always enjoyed writing; it is my favorite way to express any idea. I prefer writing over talking. And I have always been told that my writing is superb. But, when I started attending WSU, I quickly realized that my writing has problems, loads of problems. I learned that all of those high school teachers who told me that my writing was great were overlooking mistakes or ignoring them to build my self-esteem. Since I learned this, I have wanted to improve my own writing and understanding of writing. Overall, I think this is a fear that we all must have to improve any skill. There is always something that needs work, and it also makes a great place to relate to frustrated students experiencing the same shock and coming to the Writing Center for some help.

One last thing that I am fearful about, less so than everything else, is the brown slips which I always feel that I have not written enough on. This also relates to the instructor who I feel might not be satisfied with what I covered in the session. I worry that maybe I did not write enough on the brown slip or maybe that I really just did not cover enough of the paper during our session. Every time I hit that point, I have the urge to start searching for more things to talk about, but by then the session is over, and all I can do is think it over. Maybe this is because I don’t know exactly what I should write on the brown slip or maybe it is because I have an unreasoned fear of the professor’s scrutiny on students whom I feel partly responsible for.

Beaten But Not Defeated

I honestly do not remember my very first tutoring session from January, but I do remember my first one from last week. She was definitely reserved during the session, as some of the ESL students are. But, it did not take long, once I complemented her on how well her English writing was and how quickly she was catching on to the grammar concepts I was discussing with her, for her to let her guard down and speak more during our time together. The session did have its difficult moments because some of the words and phrases she knew and understood in Arabic got (literally) lost in translation, and it interrupted the flow of her paper, and even the session a bit, because of it.

I am always a bit apprehensive when going into a session with an ESL student because I come from a culture where most people I came in contact with only speak English. It was not until I went to college where I came in contact with other people who spoke multiple languages or English was not the language they were fluent in. Having this language barrier makes it sometimes difficult to tutor because it may affect their willingness to converse or learn a certain concept during a session.

Also, I have had my first tutoring sessions with 900 and 955 students this week. During the 955 session, the young man came in with ideas already about his assignment, and it was great. He was really engaged in the session since he had did some thinking and brainstorming prior to the session, and we seemed to vibe really well, so it did not take long at all to get him started on writing his first draft. I did not feel all that prepared going into the session since I have not observed or held a session with a student that uses the Developmental English Learning Center. But, I do feel I am good as acting as someone’s muse and generating useful ideas, so the session made me feel like could begin to help other 955 students complete the brainstorming and outlining portion of their assignments…until later that afternoon.

Because there were not any master tutors available at the time, I volunteered to help the 900 student brainstorm ways to start her essay since the draft was due the next day (there was that procrastination I spoke of in Blog 1).  I was extremely overwhelmed, scared, and apprehensive, and I was right to be. Even though the sessions just consisted of brainstorming and outlining, it was difficult for me. She just was not as prepared as the 955 student, which made it challenging for me to critic the ideas she already had or even help come up with new ones. But, I tried my best to be patient and go through my normal brainstorm/outline process with her. She did say I helped her a lot, and she would be okay with finally writing her paragraphs. But, as I looked back, I saw her rewriting the same things she had before I helped her, and I felt as if I wasted my time. Fortunately, Claire assured me that that was not the case, and I did the best that I could with what I knew how to do.

First Session: Check!

My very first tutoring session was actually done by mistake because I was given a tutoring session that I was not technically allowed to do. It seemed to go alright regardless but my first “real” tutoring session was quite the learning experience.

It was with an ESL student from Iran who was writing a 1.5 page essay on why she chose to attend Weber State University. She had already written the paper – which came complete with first draft commentary form her professor – and asked that I go over it to help her with structure issues as well as sentence level problems.

Interestingly enough, my best friend is high school was ESL from Iran so I was familiar with how Farsi compares to English. In this way, I was able to understand her issues with the translations she had put on paper. I was actually quite impressed with the caliber of writing she had achieved already. While there were clear issues in how she was trying to say things, I understood the gist of everything she was trying to say.

Needless to say, I was definitely scared. ESL students are a whole different ball game from native English speakers and you have to be really careful in how you convey writing concerns. You want to encourage and help develop their English writing abilities without making them self-conscious for mistakes in their papers.  However, I felt the session went really well. She was extremely responsive to edits and liked when I taught her the proper forms of verbs, past/present tense, and how to construct topic sentences that relate back to a thesis statement.

At the end of the session, I asked her if I had answered her questions and whether or not my input helped her understand how to improve her essay. She told me that she appreciated my understanding her difficulties with Farsi to English translations and said that she found my advice helpful. She even asked if she could come back the following day and have me look at her new draft – which she did. As far as first tutoring sessions go, I think this one went pretty well. Granted I was terrified at first, but once we found common ground I felt like we hit a good stride. Hopefully, I have sessions like this in the future.  

Confidence is Key.

What I fear most, like many others on this blog, is to mislead. My inexperience is hitting me full force as I realized how little grammar knowledge I retained from my previous English courses. After bouncing around from Psychology to Elementary Education and finally settling on English Teaching, it has been over two years since I have taken an English course. So much knowledge and information has been crammed into my head completely overshadowing any valuable English skills. I have always considered English a hobby of mine and it was a slap in the face to realize I am not as technically skilled in it as I had anticipated. This is amplified by the expertise I am surrounded by. The master tutors are phenomenal at what they do and incredibly knowledgeable. It is comforting to know that they had to start at the same place I did; from square one. If I want to be an educator, this is the place to be. I am at the starting line of my future and I find comfort in my naivety. Everyone has to begin somewhere. I am nervous to begin interacting face-to-face with the tutees but I am excited as well. I enjoy helping people. That is what attracted me to Psychology in the first place. The idea that I can integrate my love for English and my love for helping motivates me. I have been brushing up on my grammar skills day by day and building confidence in my abilities as a tutor. It is important to show the student that you are confident with your skills so they sense they are in good hands. I never want to feel like I am cheating a student, or misleading them in any way. I am painfully aware that I may look past something in an essay that could turn it into an “A” paper. I hope someday that I will know the ins and outs of writing so that I can catch every minute detail to warrant the paper’s success. It would be nice if I could skip past the trial and error phase of tutoring and become a master tutor. That way, the students are ensured the top quality tutors. I know that there is a potential for give and take. We can both learn something from one another. Each session that I participate in, I will learn and gain necessary skills. In order to have confidence in my skills, I must be knowledgeable in what I am teaching. The best that I can do for my students is to educate myself and prepare myself to the best of my ability.

First Session of the Semester

Hello again!

                Wow! The first week has come and gone and I just had my first tutoring session today. (Technically, this is not my first ever in the Writing Center because I was an intern last semester, but it was the first session of this year!  J) I was pretty nervous jumping back into the saddle after having the whole summer off for my brain to rot and my English skills to be filtered down the toilet, but sometimes plunging back in is easier than waiting. Thankfully, the first session of the semester was a good one.

                The lady had come in for English 1010 tutoring. Her professor is requiring that all of his 1010 students come into the Writing Center at least three times during the semester and she wanted to get it over with early on. I really like being friendly and natural with students, so I tried to be nice and put on a smile for this woman who also seemed to be smiling a lot. Her assignment: write two lies and a truth, but make them all believable. No restrictions. No specific instructions. No specific length. In essence, the assignment was a free for all. Personally, I think the professor just wants to see where his students are in their writing and to let their creative juices flow. The student I got definitely got creative with the assignment.

                During the session, I tried to read through the different sections of the paper before I went back and did some correcting and suggesting. I used the dot method and just marked the places where I saw things I wanted to talk about after I had finished reading the section. Because there were no restrictions on the paper, I wanted to leave it up to her how she wanted to put forth her ideas. I did not want to talk about structure too much because the assignment did not call for it. Rather, we went over minor things that I noticed, such as multiple points of view and IC, DC comma rules. She was so excited to learn about those rules because she did not even notice that they were a problem. It was exciting to see her learn something new. I felt like her biggest “Aha” moment came when I was talking about how it is frowned upon to use contractions in academic writing. She just kind of lit up and exclaimed that she did not even know that that was a rule. I felt like during our session she was actually learning something, which gave me great joy. Not only did she learn things from me, but I learned a few things from her laid back, whimsical style that I may want to use in my own writing.

                By the end of the session, I felt that we had covered a lot of new concepts. She seemed very satisfied by our progress and really wanted to come back again soon for another session. I really felt like I had had the tools to explain concepts to her in correct English terms. I thought that it went very well and I actually felt excited about her paper and how much she had learned. Not bad for my first tutoring session of the semester.

First Session (of the semester)

Ok, so my first session this semester was unique because it was someone I knew, but not very well. The tutee was a friend of a friend, someone I had met a few times. That provided an interesting dynamic because I started the session with a bit of a rapport already built. I wasn't starting from scratch like I usually do. I wasn't scared or nervous, though, as I didn't have a break between semesters -- I tutored over the summer, so I didn't really feel out of practice. However, I did get a little nervous when one of the new tutors observed me -- that hasn't been done for a while, and that made me nervous. I realized that someone who is new was going to be observing my session, expecting me show him a great example of what tutoring should look like. That's a lot of pressure, and that made me more nervous than starting tutoring again. I think it went well, and the observer seemed to get a lot of good info/asked some good questions after the session, and we had a good discussion after.

Fear? Me? HA!

Honestly, since I've been tutoring for a few years now, this semester didn't seem new. However, I am nervous that because I'm a TA/Masters student now, I will be held to a higher standard... or that I'll be expected to just know all of the answers. I am human, and I am still learning. There are things that I am not perfect at, and there are things I do not know. I guess that is my biggest concern/the thing that makes me most nervous.

Shelley Williams/Fall 2013/Blog 1: Whose Afraid of Virginia Tutees?

My Blog 1, Blog 2, and ultimately my first reflection/response are all mish-mashed in my head and somewhat in my written musings, but to return to my guttural response of what I am most afraid of with tutoring, it is not each session, first sessions, but personal outcomes I am most afraid of—both the students’ and my own. I want them and me to get the most out of tutoring as possible. That’s my bottom line. To elaborate, I’m most afraid of not learning enough in this course to make this course, my tutoring time and experience fruitful in the long run. In other words, I’ve made this journey before at a writing center, tutoring; I have taught composition (actually I did both those things concurrently); I have an advanced degree but little to show for it as compared with others with the same degree. The tendency to compare oneself to peers in the same boat is a common one, and I suppose I would have to add that to my nerves and what keeps me up at night, i.e., the fact that I have less in common with the young tutors and students than I did in days past.  Most times I find I cannot indulge in this pity-fest of being in boat of one because I have no points of comparison.  I have lost touch with peers who went through a degree program at the same time as me, and I don’t suspect I’d want to report my collage of experience to them even if that were not the case. Telling my story to the collectors of information to a high school reunion was uncomfortable enough.

Bottom line: Will it have been worth it after all, when I am a pinned and wriggling insect on a wall at the end? Students, the professor of every course, this one included, and I, all evaluate me in every present moment (when we’re not preoccupied with ourselves alone). That assessing, constant assessing, is part of academia and part of life. What worries or concerns me is whether, to be cliché, I’ll cut the mustard, yes, but also whether, even doing so sufficiently well, what gain this will win me in a long-term employment vein. Though I love learning for its own sake and with it, gleaning hopefully some wisdom, which I think is possible from every tutor/tutee exchange, I suppose I long for the old American dream even if tinged with the new American reality—i.e., if not a house, 2.5 children, a dog and/or cat, at least the ability to be self-sufficient again. As the old Jiffy Lube commercials used to say, “We don’t want to change the world, we just want to change your oil.” I’d settle for the latter, but I know in so saying I am indeed settling because I know that writing and writing well, has the power to change the world. The power of the pen is (or can be) mightier than the sword.  So far, my wielding of the pen and helping others wield it, has been more self-transforming than world changing, but the world is made up of individual souls, and so, I must be content with whatever I gain or give, in the course of this course and through my tutoring running its semester’s course.

What Scares Me the Most

By Matthew Kunes

What makes new tutors nervous?

A cursory glance over the blog revealed pretty much what I expected to see: tutors are nervous about being wrong; they’re nervous about the technical aspects of writing, and knowing where to put that blasted comma; they’re afraid they won’t be able to help new students; and the like. One was nervous of making a mistake in front of the other tutors.

What makes me the most nervous about being a new tutor?

I am confident in my own abilities in writing, although I am, of course, always trying to improve. Writing, and organizing my writing, has always come naturally to me. I never had to work hard at structure, or grammar, or, heaven forbid, spelling.

I think that, more accurately, the thing which unnerves me the most about being a new tutor is this fear: I will not be able to help the student.

It’s not that I am not good enough. I suppose you can judge that for yourself, but I feel qualified in my skills. The fear is that my knowledge imparted will be lost in translation; that, after all is said and done, the student will not improve when trying to follow my counsel.

I guess that comes down to the difficulty faced by all kinds of educators: how do we teach? I think the general consensus is that we don’t; rather, we spend all our endeavors in being a facilitator, allowing the student to learn for themselves.

Most of that underlies my reasons for relying so much on the Socratic method. I am a guide, pointing in the right direction, but the student must learn to arrive at their destination on their own.

This works a lot better in Math, a subject I have tutored in the past. There, the answer is, hopefully, logical. In fact, one could say that Mathematics is the study of quantitative logic. In the typical tutoring situation there, I would simply ask the student if the solution we were working out thus far looked right, and nudged them in the right direction from there. Most of the time, it was the student that was doing all of the work.

Writing, on the other hand, is different, since there is no right or wrong answer to the question: how do you write a college level paper? Actually, let me rephrase that: there is no one right answer to this question. There are plenty of wrong answers!

In any case, I don’t want to be seen as pretentious or above the student in any way. After all, that is not the nature of the relationship. I do not write the curriculum, but I rather follow it just like the student does. I am more experienced, true, but we should tread with each other as peers, or equals.

I hope the students can see me as just that: an equal.

I hope the student can learn something in my time with them.

Of course, that fear is nothing compared to the fear that I will, somewhere, forget where that blasted comma goes.

Not Knowing it All & Not Doing it All

I have two primary concerns about tutoring, and they are the concerns that have typically plagued me as a teacher, and in my personal life. First, I don’t want to steer a student in the wrong direction, give incorrect, or even downright bad writing advice. Second, I’m a “fixer”. I want everything to be good, and everyone to be happy. Both traits can make tutoring more complicated and stressful than it should be.

I am getting better at knowing the terminology of certain grammar functions, or missteps, and the reasoning behind certain grammar rules. I am also getting better at knowing MLA style. However, I still worry about giving misinformation in specific topics. This will improve with time and knowledge. On the plus side, I have no worry about looking up a topic of which I am certain. This is a valuable learning tool for the tutee, also, because the student can learn good help-seeking skills. Claire pointed out that, sometimes, students need guidance in where and how to look for help.

I also have to reign in the Ms. Fix-it, copy-editor, red-ink, part of my personality when assisting students. It is easy for me to fall in the trap of pulling out the metaphorical red-pen and saying “Change this to that, and what to which, and who to whom,” in addition to discussing the style, content, organization, and structure of a piece of writing. I have to be careful not to fix everything, and let the student construct his or her own knowledge appropriate to the student’s own level of skill and knowledge. I also have to be aware that anyone can reach a point of diminishing returns, where the ability to take in any further information begins to decline. Input does not equal uptake. Merely because a student has heard something, has been told a particular nugget of writing gold, does not mean that the student comprehends or can use the information. Therefore, it does no good to the student if I merely red-ink “bad” spots without discussing the reason for the misstep and possible methods of improving it.

Basically, I need to not worry that I do not know everything and I cannot fix everything. If I could, my children would be perfect, my dinners would never burn and I’d be at a much higher pay grade. But life, like teaching, doesn’t work that way. As a person, and as a teacher / tutor all I can only do my best from moment to moment and know that somewhere, at some point in time, something good will come of all my efforts.

Patience with Personalities

I think what makes me the most nervous about tutoring is my personality. Although I am a quiet, reserved, and introverted person, I have an extreme Type A personality (that I can thank my mother and grandmother for). I definitely have seen it rear its impatient little head a time or two when I used to tutor high school graduates in chemistry and the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) and college students in math. I think this is why I love to tutor and teach, but I only have an truly immense joy of guiding young children because I know they cannot do things on their own the first time or without my help. It honestly used to drive me crazy when I had to do something step by step with someone or hold someone’s hand to do something when I would have tried to figured it out on my own first before asking for help. And to my dismay, I have found that many tutees will wait until the day of to get their assignment looked over before it is due in less than a few hours; the pressure is turned all the way up under my size six Converses.

During my first semester tutoring as an intern, I encountered this problem almost every other time I had tutored face to face or done an OWL, especially with ENGL 1010 students. It is a nightmare for me because, as someone who is fresh off the boat, if and when I make a mistake or do not catch one of theirs (which I know I have done and will do again), and the paper is due right after they leave me, I will feel extremely bad. Meg and I have similar fears of not knowing everything there is to know about writing and possibly failing our tutee because of this. Many of the tutors before us had the same fears as well - that a tutee will come in, expecting us to sprinkle our magic tutor fairy dust and make it an A+ paper. We are just not capable of that, and I wish that tutees would be empathetic to this truth, not matter how disappointing the truth may be. However, what we are capable of doing is collaborating with the student, so they can improve their writing, and we can find other (or more accurate) resources to support them once they leave the Writing Center to work on their own.

Working in the Writing Center and taking this class has really helped me to learn how to be much more patient when it comes to overcoming my personal fears and being understanding and flexible to those tutees that come to us at the last minute. But, I am strongly aware that I have a lot more to learn. Because I used to be a tutee when I first came to Weber State last year for ENGL 1010 and 2010 and I am now a real tutor (I get paid with money instead of free food), I should be able to be empathetic to both positions.

The Diary of a Tutor

When it comes to tutoring, I'm most scared about advising the student incorrectly. As tutors, we all have our own experiences in the classroom. Additionally, we all have different learning styles as students. Therefore, I would say my biggest 'fear' is failing to help the student meet their potential because I'm unable to adapt to their style of learning or relate to their academic experiences. A secondary concern is for the student as a tutee. They come to the writing center because they doubt their own ability to write - to a degree. So, they consider the tutors to be advanced and may take something we suggest too seriously. My goal is to remind the student that we are consultants, not editors. Our suggestions are just that, suggestions. While the concrete aspects (MLA, format, etc) are things they should definitely listen to, comments on style or phraseology should be heard but aren't rules. They can be toyed with and explored by the tutee until they find their own voice as a writer.

As far as the hoards of 1010 papers, I most fear my inability to grade them based on the writing level of the students. I've heard my teachers tell me that they grade students based on academic level. As a graduate student, I'm accustomed to writing and reviewing papers of a certain writing standard, not basic composition. So I hope to hone my ability to grade partially and clearly for those who are at a different educational level than myself.

Judgment Day

A reoccurring fear among new tutors was the fear of the challenge of the ESL student. Luckily, my first session was with an ESL student, and I was able to witness some of the challenges inherent with ESL students on my first day of tutoring. It was interesting to see the unique challenges she had with English, but it was also eye opening to witness the knowledge she had concerning English grammar. The session moved along quickly, because she already knew the concepts, she just needed practice using them. This experience did a lot to ease my fears of tutoring ESL students.

With my fear of ESL students diminishing, I think my greatest fear in regards to tutoring would have to be that I won’t live up to everyone’s expectations. There is a lot of pressure for a tutor to have all the answers, or be able to find them. As I tutor, my own inadequacies are staring me in the face. I am realizing that being able to write a coherent paper isn’t the same as being able to help someone with the same task. And, while I have a working knowledge of the English language, that knowledge doesn’t always translate into being an effective tutor. I’m realizing that I still have a lot to learn, and the prospect is both daunting and exciting.

To go along with my fear of not meeting expectations, I have the fear of being judged. More specifically, I am nervous about being formally evaluated. And, while I was unable to find examples of this in other blog posts, I’m sure the feeling is pervasive. It’s hard to have an authority figure (like Claire) tell you what you’re doing wrong. It’s the same reason why people dread peer workshops and job interviews. We have a fear, as I said at the beginning, of not meeting the standard, not meeting expectations. It’s hard to be judged, especially when you know you have a lot of room for improvement.

Despite my fears, I am excited for the opportunity to be a tutor. I find it both an opportunity to help others and an excuse to force myself to grow, to expand my own knowledge. My nervousness at being judged does not change the fact that I need to be judged. I need to be told what I can do better, how I can improve. Over time, I know I will live up to expectations. My evaluation will come and go, and I will be a better tutor as a consequence.

Power and curveballs

                It is fascinating to read the fears of the prior class, a bit voyeuristic, but nice to see that there is common ground as well as varying points of view. I noticed that several people commented on the “power” that a tutor has in the relationship(two people quoted Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben’s bit about power), as that particular view is not one I share at all. They were concerned about letting the tutee down by failing to live up to expectations. I guess my experience managing businesses (I managed movie theaters from when I was in high school until about age 26)has left me feeling that in these situations we are more comrades-in-arms and not commander and subordinate. Although I am in an instructor position, the power and responsibility lies in the middle and both parties need to work hard to avoid failure. I have learned that I can do everything in my power, yet someone else will drop the ball and we both look bad. Maybe I am just hung up on the wording and the heart of the issue is still the same.

                I think that my only real concern is extremely common based on the previous class’ blog posts. I am a little worried regarding some of the grammar issues that will roll in the door. I know that my personal usage is not perfect and I have a weird sense of where commas go. In my writing, I try to not let the nuts and bolts issues clog me up as I am trying to get my ideas out. If I stop every time I think there might be an issue, my train of thought derails entirely, and I end up furious that questioning where each comma goes has made me forget the perfect wording for one of my ideas. When I go back later to edit I find sentences that are a little funky, but any change would disrupt the nuanced expression of that idea. Also, when read aloud, my odd grammar mimics my personal pattern of speech.

                This is where my issue ties in to my fears for the writing lab. I don’t want to steer a student wrong by forcing my voice, or any other, into their writing with grammar nit-picking. I guess it depends on the nature of the assignment, but an author’s voice can be vital to writing. In the past I have taken into account another person’s comments and end up with a paper that I hate because it is not my voice. Even if it gets a good grade, it still sticks in my craw because I am not happy that it sounds like someone else. I am an imperfect writer in the mechanics and I have made it this far on the strength of the concepts and ideas I write about. It is something that I will work on for the sake of my tutees and students.

                The other thing that I am and always will be a little nervous about is the wild card element of the job. You never know exactly what will come your way with each session. When I was teaching English in Japan it was the same way; I would have a grammar lesson planned and the student would come in and ask to work on some topical vocabulary. The longer I did it, the more I relaxed and tried to not be as stiff in my prepwork. Basically, I need to be prepared for any situation. You never know when that curveball will come… 

Gary Lindeburg

Fear Factor: Writing Center Edition

Several fear-inducing scenarios come to mind when I think of what I could possibly encounter being a writing tutor. Most of them have little to do with the tutee and have much more to do with me personally. My worst imaginary situation consists of me being unable to help the student, not being able to make myself understood, or even coming across as incompetent, and having the student get up and walk out dissatisfied and upset. Actually, the absolute worst thing that could happen would be if they came back with a failing grade on a paper that I had worked on with them.

There were a lot of similarities between my anxieties and those of my predecessors. As far as the basics of writing, I am pretty certain that I know my grammar and style well enough to write a good paper, however, without an overall refresher on the subject, I fear that I would make a mistake in trying to explain to a tutee why a particular section in their paper is incorrect and end up looking like a babbling know-nothing. Or, even worse, they would ask a question that I don’t know the answer to, or I might give them the wrong information. I would also want to know what to do in a situation where I am tutoring an international student who does not speak English very well. Being certain in my knowledge of the different grammatical mechanics would be invaluable, especially in a case where language barriers could get in the way, and I would be able to explain the rules so that they are easy to understand.

One anxiety I had not thought of before came up as I was reading past posts on the blog. In a post from 2004, the author dreamed about a tutee who was very impatient and rude. My anxiety in dealing with tutees such as this one is that I will lose control of my temper and tell them off. On the rare occasions when I do lose my temper, I tend to speak more sharply than I should, and I would hate for the writing center to gain a reputation because of that. Continuing on the theme of preserving the feelings of writing tutees, I sometimes fear that I will get carried away in my corrections and edit someone’s paper too harshly. I would like to gain a better grasp on the proper way of pointing out mistakes while still being tactful and polite.

I felt a little apprehensive after leaving my first day of tutoring class on Friday. We had just been talking about what defines a thesis statement, and having had most of the rules I had been taught about thesis statements blown completely out of the water, I began to re-examine and doubt what I think I know about writing. This is probably a good thing, this whole experience of breaking down and rebuilding my writing ‘muscle’ into something stronger and more agile than it was before. I’m sure it will help me increase my confidence as a tutor and as a writer.