Saturday, September 07, 2013


As I read past blog posts on what people were most scared about, I recognized a basic theme. Most of them weren't really "scared" about the tutoring, but rather were just anxious. One in particular mentioned how he hadn't even thought about "what he was scared about," until he had to write a blog about. I, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. I feel like I was scared to start the job, I felt like I was unqualified. Being hired right on the spot made me initially feel like I was hired out of desperation.

As the first week passed, much of my "fright" dissipated.  As I learned new information in class, and freshened up on the small grammatical errors, I felt I could become a better a tutor. I still had a problem, I had no time to "become" a tutor; I already was one. This made me question my decision again. I thought back to the experience I do have and relieved my stress... a little. I was a tutor and that wasn't going to change, so I had to step it up and be the tutor I wanted to be. The only way I was able to overcome my fright was I had to jump right in. If I was going to be a tutor, I couldn't stand in the back and let everyone else do my job.

One day a student came in who needed help with "Body Ritual among the Narcirema." Not 20 minutes prior had I observed a Master Tutor with the same assignment. If I was going to be a qualifed tutor, I just needed to jump right in. It was scary at first, to say the lease. I wasn't sure what I was going to say or do, but I needed to tutor, not just for me, but for them as well. As we began talking about what the article might mean, I got scared I might mess up and ruin the paper for her. I just pushed on. One thought was constantly at the back of my head "She doesn't know this is my first time tutoring." With that deep in my brain I was able to tutor her with great efficiency. By the end of the session the tutee was well impressed in what she had learned.

My first tutor session was a changing point for me. I still felt like I had a lot to learn, but I realized I didn't have to know everything in order to help others learn. At first, I was scared because I didn't know it all, and now I am simply curious as to what I can learn. I hope as time passes that I will always have something to learn, whether it is from my students I'm tutoring or my coworkers around me. I should never expect to know it all.


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