I'd Rather Correct His Spelling. . .

I suppose I'm not surprised that most of the students of present and past are most nervous about being asked something they don't have an answer for, or working with a student who knows more than they do.  I think it's natural and probably even healthy to fear that.  It provides good motivation for those strong enough to push aside the fear and do it anyway! (i.e. all of us)

As for me, that particular sting isn't quite so sharp.  I have some tutoring experience already, which helps.  More relevantly, I provided tech support for two years for the biggest pain-in-the-butt software ever devised by man--and for people who had college degrees in the stuff I was helping them with, no less!  So I already know, and I'm here to tell you: It's ok to ask for help when you aren't confident that the answer you're giving is the best one available.  It may even help the students not feel so afraid of you!

(Of course, it's easy to say this when I'm sitting at home plunking away on the keyboard.  In practice, I'm sure I'll be every bit as scared of knowing diddly as anyone else here.)

What I'm really afraid of is another tutor hearing me make a mistake.  For some reason, "Oops!" is much worse in front of someone who's not asking for my help.  I figure I can barter assistance for forgiveness if the tutee tries to hold it against me. (In all actuality, my experiences with people in need have been overwhelmingly positive.  I trust them to look past minor mistakes.)

I guess it shows how much I respect you guys that I'm afraid of that.  And then there's the Master Tutors!  I'm going to ask Claire to establish a "10 yards from Dwight at all times" rule.  Or I'll bring a fending stick.

My worst fear, though, is that a tutee will present me with a challenging paper and, in frustration, I'll spend the entire session correcting his spelling, grammar, and punctuation.  I'm afraid I'll cover his paper with insignificant little marks that won't actually help him the way that I want to help him.  I'm afraid I'll sabotage my own efforts as a tutor because I'm afraid of a challenge.  I'm afraid I'll prove to be lazy when tutees are counting on me to not be.

These fears can be overcome through practice.  I'll only know for sure that I don't need to fear them anymore once I've proven that they're irrational.  Ultimately, it's up to me to prove that, not by discovering that they're not true, but by choosing to not let them be true.  I think I can do it.

What the. . .?  I just realized that writing about this stuff made it not seem so scary any more.  It's almost as though someone planned this.

Insecurities at a New Job

I am afraid of lots of things, but when it comes to tutoring, I find that most of my common fears I have tackled at least once before in my life. Whenever you start a new job, it is really easy to confuse the uncertainty of being in a new place with new people and actual fears that come from being put into new scenarios. There is a difference between going onto a stage for the first time and stage fright. I have critiqued papers before and I have helped teach things to other before, but I’ve never done them in exactly this way in this setting with these rules.

One of my biggest fears is about disappointing myself. I have set high expectations for myself and for this job and I want to make every day count while I am here. I don’t want to be known as the girl who wastes her time. I want to be known as helpful and knowledgeable, but I also know that I will be making mistakes. It’s very difficult for me to accept that I will inevitably make mistakes and that I will definitely feel bad about them and that I will most likely get teased for making said mistakes. Sometimes humor is just a way to learn the new environment of a place and it can be used to learn the unspoken or minor rules that the more senior workers already know about but don’t usually think to tell the newer people.

I have a fear of offending someone. I know that it will probably happen whether I like it or not, but I do worry about accidentally souring what could have been a productive and useful session. I never want to be a reason that someone hates to write. I never want to be a negative role model. And I hope that as I help others find ways to love writing that I can grow as a writer. Because I want to write for a living that is what I want to do for a living, I want to learn how to be a better writer during my time in the writing center. I hope that instead of offending people that I can encourage people.

Some of the fears I have are rational because they are true, such as the fear that I am not a good tutor. The reason that this is true is because I haven’t practiced being a god tutor and I haven’t put in the time necessary to become a good tutor. And that’s okay. I think that the fear of not being good enough, in the right does, can help you grow and become better. We need that anxiety to become better people. It can keep us from becoming cocky. But too much fear can freeze us in our tracks and halt our progress. I hope that as I get into the rhythm of this job that all my little insecurities quickly become a thing of the past. 

Crossing Swords with Fear Itself

 Biggest fears, huh? Where to start...?

How about a good ol' fashioned 

NUMBERED 

LIST!

Big Fear #1: Being a self-esteem killer

I came into this tutoring job a slasher.

I promise that only sounds bad. When editing anything, I wield my red pen holding nothing back. I'm not a mean slasher; I try to give constructive criticism. I tend to live by the creed:

EDIT UNTO OTHERS

AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM

EDIT UNTO YOU

So I guess you could say I'm somewhat of a masochist, but really I just want my work to be good. As good as I can possibly make it. So I tend to offer everything I got to others, and sometimes I wonder if I'm being too harsh. I have good intentions, but does the student really see that? Or do they see a murderer? 

It seems a little melodramatic, but it's pretty accurate of how I feel. Turns out the whole theme of the Writing Center is to work with people, not papers. Being a slasher entails focusing on the paper, where being a tutor is all about nudging the student in the right direction. I'm pretty sure I can do it--I mean I grasp the concept; I have have a plan to execute it, but will it translate? Will the student feel like I'm being too harsh, even when I feel like I'm being waay too easy?

Big Fear #2: "This sentence is wonky"

I operate on instinct. If I read a sentence, I can tell if there is something wrong with it, but I cannot tell you why. I don't know the comma rules. I don't know what a dangling modifier is. I am definitely one of those "This sentence is wonky" types of people. I can't tell you why it's wrong, I can just feel it in my bones.

I'm hoping that knowing something is "wonky" doesn't take away my credibility as a tutor. I guess I'm under the impression that students expect me to be able spout technical terms out of my eyeballs, and the thought of trying to cram all of those terms into my brain sounds impossible. Even scary. I want to be able to help people with their writing, but it seems like I would have to back myself up with all that stuff. People in the Writing Center keep telling me it will come, and I sure hope they are right.

Big Fear #3: Am I good enough?

So far, I haven't had the chance to tutor yet. I've observed two sessions, trying to glean as much information as I possibly could from each one. The variety of work that comes in to be looked at worries me a little. My next big fear is based in the inability to meet the needs of the students. What if I give them the wrong answer? What if I, myself, don't understand their assignment? What if I'm not a good enough writer to meet the challenges of each student?

I don't know why I'm doubting my ability--I mean, I have to have some type of talent/skill in order to have been selected for the position. It might have something to do with my comfort zone. Who knows? My personal goal as a tutor is to have every student walk out of my sessions feeling enlightened and like they learned something, possibly even possessing more confidence in their writing ability than before. I'm worried I won't have what it takes to get these students where they need to be.


I'm hoping as the semester carries on, I'll be able to replace these fears with confidence. Thus far, the professors and Master Tutors have all been super helpful  and supportive of all the newbies. And don't think that just because these fears exist, I still won't try my best. I'm going to go above and beyond my best, hiding all these insecurities in the Pit of Despair and stepping up to the plate to be the best tutor I can be. :)

Worries

Blog Post for the week of 9-7-12

From what I have read from the other posts my fellow coworkers have posted, I can see that there is a common thing we all seem to share a fear in.  We are afraid of making mistakes and failing the people who seek help. I have very mixed feelings for the subject of English. Sentence structure, parts of speech, and grammar are things I find in this part of English easy to recognize and understand. For example, the following sentence is incorrect: If I was you I get going. This is not a proper sentence. The sentence would read better if it was written like the following: If I were you, I would leave. This makes more sense in my opinion and flows with more ease. Anyhow, I find it relatively easy to catch these kinds of mistakes whether it is by listening to someone speak aloud or reading written words on paper. The task I have discovered to be the hardest for me at this point in my writing career would be composing a researching paper. The introduction, thesis, and conclusion are the things I find the hardest to create. The main idea or topic takes the longest for me to decide on; I have to get it just right. Once those few things are out of the way the rest of the writing and composing of the paper is not as difficult to do. Having my thesis, I can develop and decide what I want the supporting material to be. The research for the supporting data can be tricky to find. You want to make sure you find credible and reliable sources to help with the creditability of your paper. The supporting material is the words that are used to fill in the space in between the beginning and ending paragraphs known as the introduction and conclusion. Other than creating and developing a thesis, these parts of a research paper have always been a challenge for to come up with. I know to acquire a reader’s attention and interest one needs to have an exciting introduction, something that draws the reader into reading what your paper has to say. As for the conclusion, a decent paper needs to have a fitting evening that sums up everything the paper talked about. Finding the right words for an opening and ending paragraph can prove to be somewhat problematic. Since I have trouble with these areas of writing, I am worried that I may make the mistake of telling a fellow student the wrong thing, having them leave confused, and end up receiving a poor grade on a particular assignment dealing with matter. I know I am not going to win every challenge that comes my way. The thought of giving some the wrong information and having them come back to tell you were incorrect would be incredibly embarrassing.  I will give it my all and try to do as much as possible to help any student that comes to the writing center seeking guidance. The good thing about knowing what gives me the most of a challenge is that I can work in it and hopefully improve somewhat. 

The Importance of Being Frank

With great power comes great responsibility. Or, something like that. As a tutor, I have a certain amount of power over the tutee, and that’s not a bad thing. I’m here to help them, as long as they’re willing to work with me. Unfortunately, the very fact that they’re in an unfamiliar situation is enough to turn even the coolest of people into a nervous wreck. Things are compounded by the fact that people are often self-conscious about their writing. Even the best of writers can have a difficult time showing their hard work to someone else, especially if what they’ve written has some personal meaning. A ton of papers that come through the Writing Center are based on emotional experiences or on topics that people feel very strongly about. And, as a tutor, I’m in the unique position of being the guy who gets to critique their emotional output. The last thing I need to do is offend someone who’s already on edge by saying the wrong thing about their paper.

Having observed a smattering of sessions already, as well as having been tutored myself, I can honestly say I’m not nervous. What I’m most concerned about is my natural tendency to come off as a lot more harsh than I mean to. I’m known for being blunt, with some people having even gone as far as to count it as a character flaw, calling me callous or rude. Personally, I’d say it stems from my preference for others to be frank with me and just tell it to me straight rather than spend all day trying to break it to my gently. I generally don’t have the patience required to deal with that. There’s also a common misconception that being blunt and being frank are the same thing, when in reality they’re totally different approaches. Both focus heavily on no-nonsense honesty, with the major difference between the two being the tone utilized. While being blunt isn’t a bad thing, necessarily, it generally has a more hostile tone to it, whereas being frank is considered to be more neutral. And, in a situation where I’m giving someone advice on how to correct a mistake, I think frankness is the way to go. It lets the tutee know right off the bat that I’m on their side, but they’re going to have to listen if they want anything to get done. I’m not here to hand them the answers and my critique is there to help them learn, not just tear down their work. Everything is fair, and it’s entirely up to them whether or not they’re going to learn anything.

    Unfortunately, there are quite a lot of people out there who are going to walk into the writing center expecting to be coddled. They don’t want to know how to write, they want me to fix their paper so that they can pass. There’s not much I can do about these kinds of people, seeing as how it’s not my job to write their paper for them. And, odds are they’ll stay stuck in the mindset that they walked in the door with. If anything, I’m nervous about running into someone like that who will confuse my frankness for belligerence or, worse yet, ends up completely offended because I managed to say something the wrong way. I’m definitely going to watch what I say for the first few sessions, just in case.  On top of that, I clearly need to brush up on my own writing a bit.

Fears

Even though I have been working as a tutor since January, I still have some of the common fears about tutoring.  I am not an English major, and that greatly adds to my greatest fear -passing on wrong information to a student.  I feel that for me (and many of you) writing is somewhat instinctive, and things like grammar, punctuation, and forming a strong thesis are no longer big hoops to jump through. That being said, I always hold on to the fear that I will be unable to explain concepts that are easy to me in a way that is simple and clear for the student to understand. I don't want to confuse the student, or tell them something that is not correct. Experience has taught me that the best thing you can do to combat this fear is to actively work to know your stuff. When there are no students waiting for a session, I will often pick up the APA format book, or thumb through The Least you Should Know about English. My anxiety about passing on bad information greatly decreased as a result of brushing up on basic grammar concepts such as comma rules.  It's also important to remember that tutoring is not some sort of closed book test on your knowledge of writing. Reference books are there to help you when you come across something that you don't know.

 Another fear that I have is that I will look dumb while teaching a workshop. The only workshop I have taught so far was in the summer, and there were only about five students in attendance. I did just fine, but I was nervous the whole time I was teaching it. I still am worried that I will stumble over my words, or that students will ask me questions that I don't know how to answer. I am hoping that these fears will melt away as I gain experience teaching the workshops.

I am so excited that the tutoring class has finally started, and I really think that some of my lingering fears will go away as a result of it. I am excited to work with all of you and to learn from your experiences.

Defining Grammar

Defining Grammar

Generally when people start a new job or begin an important endeavor, they feel a certain degree of nervousness or fear.  Many times this fear stems from a feeling of inadequacy.  The fear of the unknown can make us question ourselves and our ability to rise to the task at hand. From the brief period I have been working in the writing center I have noticed that the majority of my fellow tutors are studying English for their undergraduate degree, or pursuing a masters of English.  This is obviously a great contribution for the writing center in general, but at the same time I can not help feeling somewhat of a lay person in regard to defining grammar mistakes for those students I tutor. I feel comfortable in my ability to identify sentences that are incorrect (Remember: Ain’t ain’t a word so I ain’t go to use it) but my greatest anxiety is explaining to future students how to construct sentences using technical grammar terms. 

In my Political Science undergraduate study there was a substantial amount of writing required.  A grammatically correct paper would leave a positive impression, but it was the strength of my proposed argument that made the difference between and A or B.  When the time comes for me to give the grammatical explanation to a student I know my first thought will be changing the subject to making sure all his or her arguments are well stated, but I know I must step up to the plate and focus on the task at hand.  Throughout my life I have noticed that my greatest challenges have resulted in my most memorable moments of personal satisfaction.  

 All academic writing strives to have a strong thesis, including the study of English. English, however, is the finishing touch, the folded kerchief in the well-tailored suit. An English paper, like the well put-together man, is subtle, aesthetically pleasing although you may not know why until you examine the detail.  

Is this Normal?

Looking at past posts has shown me that my nervous feelings of inadequacy are normal! Most of the past new tutors expressed concerns about leading the tutee astray. Rachel in 2006 wrote, “I cringe when I think of having power to affect another person's grade,” and that has been one of my biggest fears. Larger papers contribute greatly to a student’s final grade, and what if I screw him up? What if he fails because I gave him bad advice or didn’t address all the professor’s requirements? What if I look stupid or make the center look bad? Knowing that these feelings are pretty much universal gives me hope. Because I have already tutored for a semester, these feelings have calmed down significantly, and that makes me happy, but I still feel concern for the student’s paper and never want to be the reason why he gets a bad grade.

Like other tutors, certain professors expressed to me that I write well, and I did well in my English composition courses and on papers for other classes, but I couldn’t necessarily pinpoint what made my papers work. I knew I instinctually knew grammar, but I didn’t necessarily know the rule or how to explain it. One of my biggest fears was finding out that I actually didn’t write well. I knew just how Rachel felt when she wrote, “Maybe I'm not as good of a writer as I thought I was,” and maybe all my professors were just being generous with their compliments. I’m still nervous that I might find out I don’t write as well as I think I do, but even if I’m not the most amazing writer in the center, I still know that I can help students to improve their papers.

One of the biggest concerns that past tutors and I share is the fear of not knowing the answer. There is a huge pressure to be the all-knowing, walking, talking style handbook/dictionary/thesaurus writing expert, and “I don’t know” just would not be acceptable. Will not knowing an answer make me look stupid? Will looking up a rule or definition make me look incompetent? The last thing I wanted to do was to cause the student to doubt me or feel the center can’t help him.  I have learned that we aren’t expected to know everything, which is a great relief. “I don’t know” is an acceptable answer as long as it doesn’t end there. We have resource books to search for answers, seasoned tutors who may have been asked the same question in their sessions, and, of course, Google!

Long story short, the main things I was nervous about when I was a new tutor seem to be pretty normal. Concerns over screwing the student up, not knowing the answer and feelings of inadequacy are normal concerns. The uncertainty of learning a new job and new responsibilities can cause feelings of doubt, but we have the skills, resources and support to do our job and really be of service to our tutees.

Sorry I Told You the Wrong Thing the Other Day…

I am most nervous about telling my students the wrong bit of information. What if they miss out on points in their class because I misdirected a certain concept on one of their papers? That kind of responsibility is a tad on the weighty side. I’m also scared of tutees asking questions I don’t have an answer for.  Also, when is there going to be enough time to correct mistakes on papers largely riddled with organizational errors not to mention grammar, syntax, and punctuation mistakes. Also, I am nervous about having the right terminology accessible so I can explain to students why something is incorrect and how they can fix the same error on future papers.

I have already been through a week’s worth of working at the writing center on the Davis Campus, but unfortunately only a few of my concerns have been addressed because so few students have used the writing center. There are too many procrastinators out there (myself included) and as a result I have not seen very many students this first week of school.

I appreciate Ammon’s optimism in his 2004 post because I forget more often than not confidence in teaching is sometimes half the battle. It looks like the previous tutors were nervous about similar things that I am still feeling unsure about: spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes on the paper that might escape my eye, leaving the student with a worse grade that someone who attends the writing center deserves. I like Blog090204 when he states his ideal of having a student come in looking concerned, then he as the tutor states something very wise then dismisses a happy optimistic student.

The best part about having the first week under my belt before getting the chance to answer this blog question is I’ve already told a student the wrong thing (refer to the title). She asked about how to explicate a thought so I told her to put it in italics instead of quotations. Hello, that’s for creative writing! If you are not explicating your thoughts in an academic paper what the (to quote my nephew) H-E-double hot chicks are you doing?! I should have said, “Drop the quotes. Never say “And I thought to myself…blah blah blah” in college writing! Ever!” Oh well. You live and you learn.        

Previous fears replaced by minor worries...

Although I’ve already had the chance to tutor for a semester, I can most definitely recall the fears that I had going into working at the Writing Center. I wish that I had known then about this blog so that I didn’t feel so silly about my concerns with tutoring. 

It seems that previous tutors before me have all had very similar worries to my own. I remember being incredibly nervous the first time I observed a tutor (I will not mention his name, although this may be a compliment) and watched as he was able to explain so many different grammar rules to the writer in the session. I was afraid of not being able to accurately answer a question or of making a mistake during a session. I was also very nervous about fitting everything there was to fix in a single session. Thirty minutes can go by quickly if the session isn’t managed correctly. I am not completely free of those fears, but I have learned to ask other tutors for advice and have learned so much from the people I work with.

Now that I have tutored for a few months I can see that using resources and asking questions during a session can be one of the best things for the writer in the session. I guess one of my fears that I now have is writing on this blog. I am definitely not too young to understand what a blog is, but I have never written on one. I am not entirely sure of how these are supposed to be written, but reading through past posts has helped me feel better about it all.

Another thing I must admit is that I am a bit worried about starting to teach the workshops. I was able to slide under the radar last semester and wasn’t ever asked to teach one, but I taught one this week and have a few to teach next week. As excited as I am to teach them, I am also nervous, and I look forward to the day when they aren’t so nerve wrecking for me.

From reading through past posts, I was able to agree with many previous tutors as well as look at how far I’ve come in a semester of working at the Writing Center. I am definitely more confident in my abilities and I know that most of that confidence has come through experience. I am also not so afraid about talking to the writers that come into the Writing Center. I guess I’m just excited now to be able to learn more and more about what makes a great tutoring session. I know this class is going to help me to become a much better tutor.

Concerns about Tutoring

My anxieties and worries about being a tutor align, for the most part, with those of past tutors. Like them, I am nervous about providing good advice and guidance. I feel a good deal of pressure from myself and others to provide accurate and useful advice and guidance. To quote Uncle Ben, "With great power comes great responsibility." Okay, maybe tutoring is not a position of "great power." But tutors are in a position to assist their peers with a subject they will use their entire lives, writing. From this perspective, tutoring (on any subject) is very powerful indeed. This responsibility that comes from tutoring is from where my nervousness stems. I owe my peers the best tutoring that I can offer, and I do not want to fall short of that.

The "power" and responsibility that tutoring entails makes it rewarding work. Teaching and tutoring both provide an opportunity to make a significant and positive impact on a person's life. I look forward to the rewarding feeling of assisting my peers with such an important subject.

I am also somewhat nervous about simply interacting with many new people. Although I do not consider myself withdrawn or shy, interacting with a number of new people on a daily basis is a bit intimidating. I take comfort that the many of the tutees will be nervous for the same reason. My goal is to make interacting with new people a positive experience and even something to look forward to.

I am confident that, as I begin to tutor, I will become more comfortable and less anxious. As with any new activity or job, one can easily make it out in their mind to be much more scary or difficult than it actually is.

All the What Ifs

Looking over the past entries, I was a little surprised to see how often the fears of previous tutors alined with mine. Primarily they were nervous about making mistakes, or not remembering correct grammar rules. I confess that the same worries have been plaguing me. The night before my first day I had almost no sleep. My mind felt as if it was this revving engine, full of energy, ideas, and worries, so sleep was near impossible.

What if I mess up? I think this fear is a little different than other times I have experienced nervousness before starting a new job. When working in a store or restaurant, though making mistakes was a possibility, it felt as if there was less riding on that potential mistake. You might mess up someone's order, but the customer would let you know almost immediately if you did, and you could rectify it. However, in a tutoring session, if you make a mistake your tutee will likely not notice, as they are here to receive help with work that they are not confident about or necessarily good at. And its more than just a wrong meal riding on it; its someone's grade, in addition to the effect it could have on your reputation as a tutor. So I think it makes sense that there is a good bit of worry involved for that.

Sort of tying into the first worry, there is also more specifics, like 'what if I forget what a preposition is?' and so on. I think this fear is also a little more prevailent in me than it might be in others. I'm only a freshman this year, and while I'm good at English I don't have nearly the experience that many of the other tutors have, even if they are new to the job. So there's a bit of pressure because of my lack of knowledge.

However, with all of that said, now that I have watched a session and had my first day, I don't feel very nervous at all. Seeing it first hand really helped, and while my knowledge isn't perfect, I know that I can keep learning. Even if I don't know the answer, perhaps I can find it out. If I give the wrong answer, there are things I can do to try and make up for that. As I enter my second day on the job, overall I am filled with the confidence that I can do this. And that's a start.