The perfect way to an essay

I have two methods to produce a paper. One for papers that are over four pages long and another for the quick papers that are under. Remember, no animals were harmed during the making of these essays.

For under four pages:
1.~Read the recommended material and highlight any phrases that contain important information.
2.~Locate a working computer
3.~ Spew all information learned from the books onto the screen. Remember that all liquids should avoid the keyboard for the safety of the computer.
4.~ Re-read material.
5.~After making faces at your rather sad organizations skills use the cut and paste option to make some sense of the jumble.
6.~Read newly organized material for grammar checks.
7.~Print
8.~Turn in paper after a final check for typing errors. If errors please repeat steps 6 and 7.


For papers OVER four pages:
1.~Construct a basic outline based on the information already known.
2.~Scan through the requested materials, using a highlighter when absolutely necessary. DO NOT allow for more than an hour on each book. Note: This step is harder than it seems… so much fun information to read!!
3.~On a piece of lined college style paper, with a blue ball-point pen, record a bulleted list of the highlighted sections and other information that is important.
4.~Modify basic outline to fit the general gist of the information held in the bulleted list. Also done with the paper and pen mentioned in 3.
5.~On a separate piece of paper construct a detailed outline using a combination of classical outline style and shorthand bulleted lists. Basically, combine steps 3 and 1.
6.~Write the first draft.
6.~ Buy cat treats.
7.~Lure the lovely, homework eating, kitten with a combination of school papers left as bait on the couch and cat treats in hand.
8.~ Take the cat to room and deposit him on the fluffy chair. Remember, you must keep a constant supply of cat treats being fed to him, otherwise he gets board and hides in the closet or under the bed.
9.~Read the first draft to said cat.
10.~Ignore any self grooming and disinterest the cat shows… it’s just his way of showing he cares.
11.~Make corrections as needed on the paper with a red pall-point pen.
12.~Allow the cat to wander away and re-write the paper.
13.~Repeat steps 7-9 with the second draft.
14.~Re-write, making corrections on grammar this time.
15.~Print.
16.~Take the third draft to local Writing Center. They pay MUCH better attention than the cat does… and you don’t have to buy them treats!
17.~Make recommended corrections.
18.~Print
19.~Turn in the paper after a final check for typing errors. If errors repeat steps 18 and 19.
20.~Locate cat one final time and reward him for his patience.
If either of these methods fail to work for you, feel free to modify them as needed. Also remember, in the need of time, some steps may be ignored at the risk of a lowered grade.
Well, that’s all for now.
Ja! ^^

Everything In Its Right Place

Because we're talking about organization this week, and because many of you are expressing various degrees of anxiety over this project, I'd like to see you all write about, well, how you get things done. When you have a vague idea for a project, or when you have piles of notes, how do you find focus? How do you make sense of piles of notes? What kinds of strategies do you use? What kinds of rituals do you engage in?

I have a friend who will do everything on earth associated with the project without actually working on the project (e.g. finding a program to organize notes; buying labels for files; organizing notes into files...you get the picture).

I have another friend who writes anything that comes into his head. He'll go back and make sense of it all later.

I will usually rearrange the furniture in my house or office before I begin writing. I will almost always clean my desk in a kind of literal and metaphorical purging of the clutter. A while back, I started outlining, which has radically changed the way I write.

So. How do you do it?

(As an aside, you all might find Merlin Mann's "The Perfect Apostrophe" entertaining. Just click on the pink play button to listen. Warning: there are a couple of swear-words in it, but nothing horrible. Mann is an organizational guru, and he has made a living helping people get their lives and their work organized.)

am stram gram, pique et pique et colegram....

I just don't know where to start on this project! I know that as soon as I get an idea I like it'll take off and the paper will basically write itself; my problem is I'm not sure what a good idea is. I'd love to do something about cultural diversity and how it relates to the writing process. Its a subject I find really intriguing (well, I suppose I'd have to being an anthro major) but the more I think about it the less I like it. It doesn't seems feasible- too broad, way way too broad. Specificity is the key and I feel like there's a hole in my jeans it slipped through. Maybe if I do some more research into what others have done with such an idea the answer will become apparent.

Oh! While everyone is here updating their own blog check into Metaphor's new project. It's called Poem of the Week and is designed to get Weber State student's talking about poetry in all its glory. We post a new poem each week and want students to come and read, enjoy, and most importantly to comment! You can get to the Metaphor blog via a link on our homepage (found in the online Weber State index) or the site address of metaphor-staff. blogger.com- at least I think that's the address, if you have problems finding it let me know and I'll bug Kyle about it. I've meant to mention this in class and might still- so thanks for your interest!