Moving East & Moving Forward

A lot of things as usual are on my mind. I guess the anxiety of moving back home after my divorce and graduation this spring comes to mind. As happy as I am getting that poison out of my life, I am afraid to start over. Being an only child, I have always been taken care of, even when my one, or both, of my parents were not around. Someone was always there to take care of me, whether it was financially, emotionally, or physically.

Well, no one is taking care of me this time. Especially after my two and a half month stay over the summer with my mother and her new wife, moving out, and stay the remaining weeks with my in-laws, I would rather not go there again. So, I have begun my apartment search for a one bedroom or studio apartment, hopefully under a thousand dollars a month (yes, it is that expensive in Maryland sadly). I definitely want one in safe neighborhood, though, and a balcony, walk-in closet, and spacious kitchen. But, first things first. I need to save up money, so I volunteered to take on a second tutoring job, even though my schedule is extremely daunting already. So, I now go to class five days a week, work seven days a week, observe in the Children’s School two hours a week, tutor at a local middle school a few times a month, and I am the secretary and treasurer of an organization on campus. Not to mention I still homework, essays, projects, readings, and exams to do as well. But, my freedom and independence later is worth my exhaustion now.

As I was saying before I went on my mini tirade, I am moving back to my home state. Most likely, I will be driving my 2001 Hyundai Sonata with my two best friends, Dani and Kyle, across the country, traveling thousands of miles during the course of a week. I think I am either insane or just will need that long of a break from reality. I think it will be fun though.

So, while I am saving money and building my credit score (since I never had a credit or a need for credit until this past summer), I am getting together my résumé and searching for potential jobs that I could make at least $25,000. So far, I have a lot of daycare and preschools on my list. If the worst happens, which would probably be working retail again, I will move with someone who has a bedroom and bathroom to spare until I can be fully on my own.

I am just trying to remain positive about my situation. Life gave me lemons, so I am painting them gold. I guess that is just my Piscean optimism rearing its annoying head again. With that, I am not spending another frivolous penny – except for my trip home in two months and my birthday this February – and will be asking for money for my apartment and stuff to go in it for Christmas this year. It will be hard, but I know I can do anything I truly set my mind to…I actually feel a lot better after writing this blog post. Go figure.