So a pen and a paper walk into a bar…

Or at least it’s what the title should have been for the collaborative book in my Creative Writing class, Senior Year of high school. Instead it was, “Black on White.” To avenge the title-that-would-have-been, I took out a pink pen (being my enemy-color, it felt like double-vendetta) and scribbled over said-lame-title, dubbing it, “Pink on Toast.”

What are we supposed to talk about? I took a course in Japanese last fall, and I hated it! Alphabet, sentence structure; it’s about as polar-English as you get. The instance I learned that I actually had no interest in memorizing the all the sounds in the language written in hiragana was the instance I learned something else. I love English, with an admittable over-fondness for the anal details of structure and a passion for the unlimited word choice… etc. (God bless you, etc!) I am ready to embrace my language-bias and practice an almost supremacist intolerance for the other ones. Let the long and fruitful reign of English totalitarianism begin in the world of Rachel.

That said; the point is…I forgot, and whatever it was should probably be my biggest fear. You find that being good at writing and teaching good writing is completely different. I’m afraid I let my ego get the better of me in this respect, and did not even consider the more pivotal role of teaching when applying as a tutor. Everything in tutoring, if one considers intuition being the key and catalyst, is scary. I hope I’ll make a good fit.

I know! I just use really big, four-syllable words, and everyone will be impressed! Ambidextrous…wow…Haiku artists in other countries would go nuts if they only knew how big our words can get all by themselves. If anyone agrees that the National Enquirer is a reliable source of information, raise their hand. If you didn’t, I can only say I’m disappointed. While other medias in America only lie half the time, at least you know the Enquirer is lying all the time, and that’s reliable!

Okay, that wraps it up. What are the key points of this essay?

• Hate lame titles
• Love English with an almost-scary attitude
  
• Biggest fear: inadequacy
• National Enquirer rocks

As a tutor I would say there’s definitely…something in this essay, but that something needs work. Class dismissed.