"Oh, Seaweed set me free!" ('Hairspray' songs stuck in my head yet again)

I’ve decided that my goal for this semester is to reply to the question first every week. Not for the “win” of it, but because if I were to wait, like I have done with this blog, I’ll have to read everyone else’s brilliant thoughts and have that nervous feeling of sounding redundant or dumb. I’d like to make it a point, however, in saying that I’m officially hooked on Michael’s script! I’m pulling for Meta-Michael!

Yet, unlike Meta-Michael, I’m nervous AND fearful about tutoring… and about how I am going to fill out the next 500 words!

I did some tutoring in high school. So, I shouldn’t be nervous, right? I’ve done this before! But I am nervous. I’m afraid that someone will hand me a paper and it’ll be so brilliant that my mind can’t simply wrap around it’s brilliantness (I’ve just decided that was a word :)). I may not understand the paper’s meaning, but is that because it’s brilliant or because I’m not intellectual enough to grasp the writer’s meaning?

Then there’s the ever present worry of grammar. The only 7-lettered 4-letter word I know. As mentioned in class, if I see something wrong, I’ll be able to tell the writer “Ok, this doesn’t sound right, but this will help...” but I won’t be able to say why. This could either help me because I won’t confuse the tutee with words they don’t understand either, or it could make me seem like I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Lindsey said my feelings best when she said “I am afraid of ruining a session”. I want to help the tutee, but what if I end up making them more confused? What if I tick the tutee off with my suggestions? How do I know when I’ve over-stepped my boundary? How do I know when I under-step it? What if I mistake the tutee’s body language? What if they really want me to keep helping them, but I think they really want me to back off? Or vice-versa? What if I ask for help so many times, Claire and Dr. Rogers will take me aside and say “I’m sorry, but you really need to be a tutee rather than a tutor.”?

Other than the feeling of being inadequate, I’m completely psyched about being a tutor! I’m an avid reader and I’m looking forward to seeing people’s thoughts on the same books I read in previous classes. I’m excited to read about experiences the writer’s had. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to help someone become a better writer, and thus enjoy English more. A far-fetched hope, I know, but a hope I have all the same.

I’m hoping I’ll have a corny, 50’s TV show ending to this semester. You know how in “I Love Lucy” or “Leave it to Beaver”, they come out saying “Ah, gee whiz, I should’ve thought more clearly about ---. But now I know now, I’ll never do it again!” Who knows, I may leave with a smile on my face, saying “Oh golly! I was so worried about grammar and not knowing what I’d say! Now I know that if I just take one step at a time, everything will turn out wonderful!” and with a smile and a wave, I’ll leave for my happily ever after.

Who knows, I did end up going over the 500 words. :)