Waiting Myself Out

I'm taking the class for writing tutors, reading a book on tutoring, writing papers on writing and tutoring students at the university, and I think that with this approach, I run a risk of doing too much dissecting of the tutoring process. As a remedy, I watch myself during tutoring sessions but I haven't had any real reluctant writers.

My first tutoring session was an ESL student. She had a few mistakes but she wrote very clearly. I waited her out a little so she could figure out a problem not realizing that I should help her more. I don't think she was hurt by it but I now know it's okay to give ESL students more help than I would give an EFL (English as a First Language) student.

I've had opportunities to tutor a variety of people from lower to upper level classes. I think there is a waiting period that can be sensed with the individual. Some people need to think for a minute and others need to act or they'll forget what they want to do or say.

My last tutoring session was with an ESL student. It was a challenge for us to communicate with each other altogether. We went through every sentence so I could explain to him why we need to do this or that and what makes sense and why something else doesn't. He has been in the U.S. for about four months and that's how long he has been speaking English. I asked him periodically if he was getting the help he was looking for. He kept telling me yes and nodding his head. We had to end before we were finished working through his paper and I wondered how much he got out of our session. I know that he picked up on a mistake or two that we found repeated several times throughout his paper. That was a small accomplishment that I think went a long way. I think he really learned something new. I only wish we had more time to work together. I know his little accomplishment will take him through to the next assignment because he is at least learning.

Today I went to my Intro to Ceramics class where we have been making Teabowls. It was fun as usual because the ceramics room is a happy place, but I was frustrated. I found out that our assignment is due Monday instead of Wednesday, and I was having problems centering my pieces on the wheel. I had to ask for help for the third time on the same problem. I was feeling really bad. I wondered what was wrong with me because I had learned to center once and did it okay, I learned to center again when I was having problems and I said "Now I have learned to center" with confidence, and then I had to learn a third time because I just couldn't seem to get "it" and hold onto "it".

There are several ways to center greenware on a wheel for trimming. The class learned two, and now I've learned about five. It is even worse to know that I still have a problem with five different methods of centering when everyone else seems to have none with two. I have been shown and taught and trained to change my perspective, to change tactics, to change focus, and I still struggle terribly. I decided it would be worth it to pay someone else to center my greenware. I wanted to cry. I need to hear the magic word that would be my "aha" and all of a sudden I could center. But it didn't come and I will be coming back during the week working hard to make sure I learn to center on a Potter's Wheel. During past classes I have worked and succeeded, and then worked on something new and succeeded again. Now I feel like I am in a rutty little place.

I look forward to going back to class because it is a subject I love, except this one headache, but I don't think I would if I was having that same kind of problem in something like... Math. I would be reluctant to try as hard and I would feel stupid. I would be torturing myself by making myself go to class. It would be a necessary evil only to get through to graduation.

I haven't tutored anyone who is a really reluctant writer but I think that we all need a boost sometimes through small accomplishments.