Ostrich & Chirping
I think it's so funny to remember how silly my attitude was when I first got to college. I thought I was so smart and that this whole thing would be a breeze. Precious naivete. Where have you gone to?
Because this attitude really started to disappear when I began turning in papers and taking tests and giving speeches in class, I said to myself, "I've no idea what I'm doing?" Then I also thought maybe I didn't know what I was doing here at this place. It went on like this for quite awhile but I'm not sure at what point I became more familiar with the discourse of the university. It was just something that gradually came into my conscience via trial and error. I've always been too embarrased to ask a professor what is expected of me especially if maybe they've already explained what that is. So I would always just kind of take the plunge, wait for the results, and then try and learn from them.
This method may have been a result of my attitude when I first arrived here and then being totally disillusioned about what I thought I knew about everything. And I suppose I still carry a few ideas and beliefs with me from when I first began college. But for the most part I resent what I thought I knew and have strived every day to find new truths. It really has been like learning a new language for me. Learning new languages gets more difficult as you become older. Even now I'm trying so hard to learn Spanish on my own but it's very hard when all I can do is think back on the language I already know. And to learn Spanish is pretty straightforward. The language of the university is anything but straightforward. I feel I'm constantly drowning in ambiguity.
To effectively learn a language, however, people must always be trying to speak it whether they know it well or not. I always try to talk to people in Spanish despite my lack of confidence. In doing so, people can give me feedback and tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is crucial to my learning experience. During the English 3840 classes, I actively participate in class discussions. Sometimes I miss the point or say something that's not relevant, but at least through trying am I learning how to have an intellectual conversation. I don't always get the right answer, but what I'm really striving for is whether or not I can ask the right questions.
As languages are constantly evolving and changing, so are we. If there's one attribute that I feel will get me through this institution, it's adaptability. I may not always know the "discourse" of the university, but if I can count on myself to be able to adapt to its changes, then I will change alongside with it and manage to keep up. Does any of that make sense?
Because this attitude really started to disappear when I began turning in papers and taking tests and giving speeches in class, I said to myself, "I've no idea what I'm doing?" Then I also thought maybe I didn't know what I was doing here at this place. It went on like this for quite awhile but I'm not sure at what point I became more familiar with the discourse of the university. It was just something that gradually came into my conscience via trial and error. I've always been too embarrased to ask a professor what is expected of me especially if maybe they've already explained what that is. So I would always just kind of take the plunge, wait for the results, and then try and learn from them.
This method may have been a result of my attitude when I first arrived here and then being totally disillusioned about what I thought I knew about everything. And I suppose I still carry a few ideas and beliefs with me from when I first began college. But for the most part I resent what I thought I knew and have strived every day to find new truths. It really has been like learning a new language for me. Learning new languages gets more difficult as you become older. Even now I'm trying so hard to learn Spanish on my own but it's very hard when all I can do is think back on the language I already know. And to learn Spanish is pretty straightforward. The language of the university is anything but straightforward. I feel I'm constantly drowning in ambiguity.
To effectively learn a language, however, people must always be trying to speak it whether they know it well or not. I always try to talk to people in Spanish despite my lack of confidence. In doing so, people can give me feedback and tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is crucial to my learning experience. During the English 3840 classes, I actively participate in class discussions. Sometimes I miss the point or say something that's not relevant, but at least through trying am I learning how to have an intellectual conversation. I don't always get the right answer, but what I'm really striving for is whether or not I can ask the right questions.
As languages are constantly evolving and changing, so are we. If there's one attribute that I feel will get me through this institution, it's adaptability. I may not always know the "discourse" of the university, but if I can count on myself to be able to adapt to its changes, then I will change alongside with it and manage to keep up. Does any of that make sense?
posted by Anonymous at 1:19 PM
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