*bangs head on desk*
I would have to say that being a tutor was harder than I thought. I guess that gung-ho, dive in head-first thing wasn’t perhaps the best idea, but then again, when is it? I got to tutor three tutees so far, though I suppose it would technically be more 2.5 since Claire helped me with one of them. I seem to have the invariable joy of experiencing the best and the worst of many things.
One of the things I’m immediately aware of is how difficult it is to explain things grammatically. I don’t suppose I should be too surprised, all things considered, but it’s still hard to deal with. For some of the ESL students, I was trying to copy Sam and explain why I’m correcting things, but more often than not I found myself saying “I’m changing this because, well, that’s just how we do it,” and all the variations of that. I guess I still have a lot to learn about being a Writing Center tutor.
Another thing that I’ve found myself doing, especially today during English 3840, is that I scan the paper and I finish quickly, but by the end I come to the chilling realization I don’t remember anything that I just read. I don’t know whether it’s lack of sleep, or zoning out, or some rare mental disease I have, but I guess I’m just skimming the paper and not really digesting any of it, in the interests of saving time. As a result, I keep worrying that I’m not actually helping the tutee, just saying a bunch of encouraging words but keeping all their organization and overall things completely untouched simply because I can’t recall any of it.
I also seem to be talking too much, and I keep wondering whether I’m overtaking the session. I seem to draw a blank whenever I try to give an example or alternate, and just give one (which is eagerly snapped up by the tutee). Sometimes I also seem to be searching for words that would be more succinct or direct than what the tutee wrote, and I correct myself a bit too, making me wonder if the tutee is thinking: “WTF is he doing?” I keep wondering if I’m trying to be too nice, so I never give the tutee the help he/she actually needs, just acting like a cheerleader.
But at least, according to Claire, I’m keeping my cool and calm (while flailing around mentally not knowing what I’m doing AT ALL), so I guess I can hide my complete and utter lack of any confidence with an unperturbed smile. So at least I’m maintaining my professionalism, and hopefully my underdeveloped cheek muscles are making my mouth look more like a smile than a grimace.
I keep wondering whether I’m over thinking this, and doing reasonably well (for a new tutor) or even better. I’d like to say that I’m saying new stuff and panicking over things previous tutors have never done, but I have this lurking suspicion that’s not the case.
One of the things I’m immediately aware of is how difficult it is to explain things grammatically. I don’t suppose I should be too surprised, all things considered, but it’s still hard to deal with. For some of the ESL students, I was trying to copy Sam and explain why I’m correcting things, but more often than not I found myself saying “I’m changing this because, well, that’s just how we do it,” and all the variations of that. I guess I still have a lot to learn about being a Writing Center tutor.
Another thing that I’ve found myself doing, especially today during English 3840, is that I scan the paper and I finish quickly, but by the end I come to the chilling realization I don’t remember anything that I just read. I don’t know whether it’s lack of sleep, or zoning out, or some rare mental disease I have, but I guess I’m just skimming the paper and not really digesting any of it, in the interests of saving time. As a result, I keep worrying that I’m not actually helping the tutee, just saying a bunch of encouraging words but keeping all their organization and overall things completely untouched simply because I can’t recall any of it.
I also seem to be talking too much, and I keep wondering whether I’m overtaking the session. I seem to draw a blank whenever I try to give an example or alternate, and just give one (which is eagerly snapped up by the tutee). Sometimes I also seem to be searching for words that would be more succinct or direct than what the tutee wrote, and I correct myself a bit too, making me wonder if the tutee is thinking: “WTF is he doing?” I keep wondering if I’m trying to be too nice, so I never give the tutee the help he/she actually needs, just acting like a cheerleader.
But at least, according to Claire, I’m keeping my cool and calm (while flailing around mentally not knowing what I’m doing AT ALL), so I guess I can hide my complete and utter lack of any confidence with an unperturbed smile. So at least I’m maintaining my professionalism, and hopefully my underdeveloped cheek muscles are making my mouth look more like a smile than a grimace.
I keep wondering whether I’m over thinking this, and doing reasonably well (for a new tutor) or even better. I’d like to say that I’m saying new stuff and panicking over things previous tutors have never done, but I have this lurking suspicion that’s not the case.
posted by Q at 4:26 PM
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