APA and Biomed and ESL -- oh my!
I am going to tell you something that may shock you. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Once upon a time in a distant land called Bountiful, someone labeled me a smarmy know-it-all. I know! Surprising, huh? (I was mildly disappointed in her insult. After all, she had to revert to the Harry Potter series to find that one. And who uses the word "smarmy" these days, anyway?) She said I acted like I knew everything -- and on occasion, I may have acted that way. In my defense, I was still in high school and almost everyone acted like that on occasion. But even when I assumed such an act, I knew that I didn't know everything. I still don't know everything. And here is a Q&A based on real tutoring sessions I've had that prove it.
Q. What is Crohn's disease?
A. Something that isn't good for your health.
Q. Is this information about cell phones correct?
A. I work at a writing center.
Q. So?
A. So I don't know anything about cell phones. I don't even own one.
Q. What can you tell me about APA format?
A. The health sciences use it often and I can provide you with a handout we can review together. (I've actually been tempted to say, "Correct me if I'm wrong . . ." but it seems as though the student would lose all confidence in me if I said something like that.)
Q. Why do you put articles in front of nouns?
A. I don't know who made the rule. I just know the rule. Some things are what they are.
Q. Do you know who wrote this article about cloning?
A. I'm afraid not. I haven't read up on cloning recently.
Q. Why do I need to arrange this in paragraphs anyway?
A. I don't know. Because it's convention and it's easy on a reader's eyes. The arrangement is especially helpful when a reader only has one good eye left.
I have had a couple of sessions where I felt dumber and dumber by the minute because I relied so heavily on the student and on Hacker to learn things as I went. And the more dumb I feel, the more inadequate I feel. And the more inadequate I feel, the more I want to crawl under the table. And the more I want to crawl under the table, the more I want to learn everything so I have no need to crawl under the table. I would also like a sign that says, "Contrary to what you believe, I do not know everything."
Of course, it's equally hard to tutor topics I know about because I constantly worry about crossing the line. Did I say too much? Was that question genuine or was it rhetorical? And the whole time I'm in such tutoring sessions, two voices in my head constantly quarrel: "Help more, help more" and "shut up, shut up" become an odd sort of refrain. I also worry that I begin talking like the tutoring session has become a means of proving my intellectual capabilities.
In any case, if you ever feel like I'm trying to prove I'm so smart to you when we're having a conversation, feel free to say: "Katie, stop being such a smarmy know-it-all."
Once upon a time in a distant land called Bountiful, someone labeled me a smarmy know-it-all. I know! Surprising, huh? (I was mildly disappointed in her insult. After all, she had to revert to the Harry Potter series to find that one. And who uses the word "smarmy" these days, anyway?) She said I acted like I knew everything -- and on occasion, I may have acted that way. In my defense, I was still in high school and almost everyone acted like that on occasion. But even when I assumed such an act, I knew that I didn't know everything. I still don't know everything. And here is a Q&A based on real tutoring sessions I've had that prove it.
Q. What is Crohn's disease?
A. Something that isn't good for your health.
Q. Is this information about cell phones correct?
A. I work at a writing center.
Q. So?
A. So I don't know anything about cell phones. I don't even own one.
Q. What can you tell me about APA format?
A. The health sciences use it often and I can provide you with a handout we can review together. (I've actually been tempted to say, "Correct me if I'm wrong . . ." but it seems as though the student would lose all confidence in me if I said something like that.)
Q. Why do you put articles in front of nouns?
A. I don't know who made the rule. I just know the rule. Some things are what they are.
Q. Do you know who wrote this article about cloning?
A. I'm afraid not. I haven't read up on cloning recently.
Q. Why do I need to arrange this in paragraphs anyway?
A. I don't know. Because it's convention and it's easy on a reader's eyes. The arrangement is especially helpful when a reader only has one good eye left.
I have had a couple of sessions where I felt dumber and dumber by the minute because I relied so heavily on the student and on Hacker to learn things as I went. And the more dumb I feel, the more inadequate I feel. And the more inadequate I feel, the more I want to crawl under the table. And the more I want to crawl under the table, the more I want to learn everything so I have no need to crawl under the table. I would also like a sign that says, "Contrary to what you believe, I do not know everything."
Of course, it's equally hard to tutor topics I know about because I constantly worry about crossing the line. Did I say too much? Was that question genuine or was it rhetorical? And the whole time I'm in such tutoring sessions, two voices in my head constantly quarrel: "Help more, help more" and "shut up, shut up" become an odd sort of refrain. I also worry that I begin talking like the tutoring session has become a means of proving my intellectual capabilities.
In any case, if you ever feel like I'm trying to prove I'm so smart to you when we're having a conversation, feel free to say: "Katie, stop being such a smarmy know-it-all."
posted by Anonymous at 9:53 PM
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