Our New Menace
I'm a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. In fact, I'm working on my doctorate from that institution. Because of this, I like to think that not many things rattle me or make me anxious. However, something that I recently saw stapled on the 'notice board' at the Social Science building shook me to my core.
It was a notice for the Wyvern/Anime Club. It was a simple flyer printed on white paper with the requisite dates and times of the club's meetings in simple, black print. Behind it and beneath it, though, is a menace so foul and so dark that housewives throughout America's heartland shudder at its mention.
What do these people REALLY do at their meetings? What do these people think while sitting in the dark? What is this club's plan for the world? Do they plan to enslave we 'normal' people and REALLY turn us into goblins and warlocks and mages- creating a world that is based on reality and not just their fantasy-based imaginations? Are they so tired of being social outcasts that they will turn OUR reality into THEIRS?
God, let it not be so. I wouldn't want to be some harmless creature stuck as a pawn in a world of warriors and monsters. I don't want to learn how to tend a garden. I don't want to see that garden trampled under the pounding hooves of horses ridden by a guild of fighters who are tracking a wild band of orcs- the same band of orcs who had just rushed through my village, ravishing the women and burning the crops.
Please people, we must put this group down now while we still have the chance.
(If you don't know already, this is a satire. For my real feelings on the wyvern/anime club, please send a check or money order for $9.95 plus $1.25 shipping and handling to Layne D. Hansen c/o Weber State University Ogden, UT 84403. You will receive my brochure, a beautiful nickel plated coin. The coin is accompanied by a certificate of authenticity signed, stamped, and dated. Order today and you can also receive my brochure of my feelings for the women's track team at half price.)
It was a notice for the Wyvern/Anime Club. It was a simple flyer printed on white paper with the requisite dates and times of the club's meetings in simple, black print. Behind it and beneath it, though, is a menace so foul and so dark that housewives throughout America's heartland shudder at its mention.
What do these people REALLY do at their meetings? What do these people think while sitting in the dark? What is this club's plan for the world? Do they plan to enslave we 'normal' people and REALLY turn us into goblins and warlocks and mages- creating a world that is based on reality and not just their fantasy-based imaginations? Are they so tired of being social outcasts that they will turn OUR reality into THEIRS?
God, let it not be so. I wouldn't want to be some harmless creature stuck as a pawn in a world of warriors and monsters. I don't want to learn how to tend a garden. I don't want to see that garden trampled under the pounding hooves of horses ridden by a guild of fighters who are tracking a wild band of orcs- the same band of orcs who had just rushed through my village, ravishing the women and burning the crops.
Please people, we must put this group down now while we still have the chance.
(If you don't know already, this is a satire. For my real feelings on the wyvern/anime club, please send a check or money order for $9.95 plus $1.25 shipping and handling to Layne D. Hansen c/o Weber State University Ogden, UT 84403. You will receive my brochure, a beautiful nickel plated coin. The coin is accompanied by a certificate of authenticity signed, stamped, and dated. Order today and you can also receive my brochure of my feelings for the women's track team at half price.)
posted by Anonymous at 6:54 PM
1 Comments:
I realize that the blog is satire, but just to vent a little bit, I've grown rather tired of this kind of attitude, whether made in jest or not. I'm not a big fan of stereotyping, and frankly the club is no better or worse than the more "respectable" activities of football watching and snack/soda consumption while WHOOOing or the sit-down discussions of book clubs.
Other than the subject material, if you came in and watched you'd find it pretty ordinary. Everyone talks about their lives, their concerns, the next day's homework assignment due or how they'll pay off that bill they've incurred. We watch whatever we watch based on the popular vote and enjoy an admittedly nerdy amount of card playing or, God forbid, dungeons and dragons where we conjure up those goblins and warlocks to crush pretty gardens underfoot, as you so aptly put.
Whether or not you have any feelings to the contrary, I wanted to put in my two cents.
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