Blog 12 Revamp (with full knowledge of prompt)
Blog 12: What is a student? What is a tutee? Who am
I as “tutor?” How Tutoring Has Shaped Me/Shelley Williams/Engl 3840
Though I’ve let myself get behind in this class,
shamefacedly, I just re-responded to this in a way, by revamping my response to
Blog 1, which, because I have no grade for it, as you know, I thought meant it
was not received at all (and hence I re-submitted; I think there are no less
than three iterations of it).
Essentially, I was trying to assess, and have been since
last year when I re-became a student (how I always seem to re-define myself—by
becoming a student and learning anew or learning the new), what “being a
student” means these days, what being a good tutor means, and what being a
teacher, my end-goal, still means. The hard way, I have learned that I have had
to reassess my own natural learning abilities and styles and cater to these or
I simply won’t ingest, digest, process or make a part of me new material. And seeing the unique ways other students
(tutees) ingest, partially digest, and bring forth their own processing of new
material has essentially proven to be “all of a piece.”
Additionally, because I love working one-on-one with
students like this, and feeling like I am making a difference because of their
happy, satisfied comments at the end of sessions, I want to remain linked
forever with helping students discover themselves and their latent abilities to
communicate and communicate well, in writing. As such, I am planning to change
my major.
Though this initially came from deciding to take a summer
acting course simply because I enjoyed theater in high school, the tutoring has
reinforced my love of language and word-crafting and helping others learn to do
this as well. Even in the theater arts, through tutoring I remember it’s really
the words of language brought to life on stage that I love. I want to write,
reflect, learn. That’s how I know I’m
alive. And I want to teach; I always have. But one thing or another has
thwarted my plans, perhaps most often myself because I’m not sufficiently
audience-aware or for whatever other combination of reasons. Nonetheless, I
will prevail in learning. I will prevail in word-crafting; this time in a new
language. So my new plan is to major in
Spanish, potentially moving to ESL, and perhaps in so doing, empower myself and
a large Latino population who seem to need it the most. I know one thing for
certain--These ESL learners can be among the most grateful. I know this is not
always the case (I read Ashley’s blog). However, I have experience with foreign
students, which is unique and makes me more culturally sensitive that I know
where/how to start from a place that bridges from their cultures to ours, since
that is the ultimate goal. Whenever possible, I like to put my former knowledge
base(s) in service of my newer ones, and so, I look forward to seeing where
this journey leads.
The whole joy of being able to tutor (and inherent in my
desire to teach) is this desire to empower other individuals with the written
word. Writing is empowering. Education is empowering—one of the only tools left
we have that truly is sufficiently qualified to help not only change individual
lives, but communities, countries/nations, continents, our world.
What’s more--I get to, and in a way am obligated to, keep
learning if I am going to be a teacher (and that is true even if I weren’t
re-enrolled as a student). By definition, a teacher, or at least a good one,
wants to always be learning and improving on what’s new in the field he/she
teaches, what’s old that needs to be retained but potentially revamped, and how
these can be synthesized but not diluted to reach students. I want no student
left behind who wants to learn (but may not even know how much; ESL students do
though). I want to be the antithesis of the slogan I heard was created by
students themselves, i.e., “All students left behind. No teacher left
standing.” Not all good students make
good teachers, but I am of the opinion that good teachers are good learners and
so can know how to teach not only a subject, but how to teach learning
(metacognition)—skills for the moment and skills to last a lifetime.
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