The Plunge

I probably haven’t had (okay, I KNOW I haven’t had) nearly as many tutoring experiences as everyone else this week. I can only describe it like the way I tend to enter a pool or a cold lake - one tiny step at a time, slowly acclimating myself to the temperature of the water. I have tired of myself at times and jumped right in, trusting that in a few freezing cold minutes I would be use to the water. Most of the time though, I don’t. I wonder if this is because I’m anxious about being cold. I do not like being cold! Although I know that I would be better off just getting it over with, yet I don’t. I have grown braver over these last few years of my life, becoming more secure and what not, and jumped in (even with excitement!) to situations I never would have thought myself confident enough to do before. Having gotten my feet wet this week, I think I just need to take a deep breath, smile, and jump in! I see everyone else doing the same and coming back up just fine.

So, why don’t I? It just hasn’t been my style in the past; but I’d like to change that. Everybody else has been great examples to me, some even coaxing me to take the plunge with them. To you I say thanks! Sometimes all I need is permission. To know it’s ok. After mulling over my experiences this week, I’ve psyched myself up. As I mentioned before in my previous post, I am excited and nervous about tutoring. This week I probably let my nervousness get the better of me. I just had to test the waters out to make sure I could do this. And you know what? I think I can! And it will be fun, too! It helps to have encouraging and fun peers and mentors. You are all in the water calling me in to join you (whether you’ve realized it or not). Also I think, “Who wants to go swimming alone?” I'm sorry that it’s taken me a little bit to realize that you are all in there, too. Why? I’m not entirely sure, but I think I just had to stop thinking about myself so much in order to look around and see you all there with welcoming smiles.

Reading about your experiences has helped me to connect with you and realize that I’m not the only one in there. I know I’ve been told I'm not alone, but it took me till now to have the light bulb turn on. This next week I hope to improve by working on my weak points. There was so much that we talked about in class that turned out to be right as to what we would encounter. I hope I can remember all this good instruction and advice. Thanks for those who’ve helped me this week (even by just talking to me) and I hope I can return the favor. After all, we’re all in this together, so let’s make this the best pool party ever!