Comma Att*ACK!*

Really the only wonky grammar rules I remember being taught was the one where you are supposed to put a comma where ever you would naturally breathe. As I got into AP English class, I discovered that putting a comma in these places does not exactly work. I mean, if you, just, you know, put commas, wherever you want, to have someone, take a breath, you end up with, a sentence that looks, a lot like, this and reads like, an asthma attack.

Now I'm not saying that you should use a bajillion commas when you want to convey having an asthma attack. As a writer, it would be better just to indicate the character/narrator/speaker or whatever is having an attack. The reader can insert the gasping in themselves. Using the commas, in that sort of way can, be classified as, a gimmick, and editors and professors alike, hate, gimmicks *Cough! Gasp!*