Define "Frustrating"

I have been wracking my brain all week about this blog topic: “What has been the most frustrating tutoring session.” I find there are little frustrations in every session, and the big problems aren’t that common. Besides, I find great satisfaction in surviving a horrendous experience, so “frustrating” is not a feeling I like to experience for long. “Frustration,” in my mind, implies a long-lasting feeling of helplessness, and I just don’t wait around long enough for that. How much time do we put into one session, anyway?

Do not get me wrong: I do care about what happens here in the Writing Center. Being a writing tutor is one of the most interesting jobs I have ever had. I love being able to make a positive change in the lives of other people. But I just have so much energy to spend on being frustrated, and I’m not going to waste it on the little stuff.

Real life – the stuff that happens outside of the writing center – is where actual frustration happens for me. I can work all I want to and my kids will still have autism, people I love will still lose their marriage, and I will still have those ten articles to read. Tutoring sessions just don’t pack the same punch.

In an effort to address the topic, at least in spirit, I will mention some of my more difficult tutoring sessions. One woman worked for more than an hour on her paper, then found out it didn’t fit the requirements for the assignment. Another woman, one who is learning English for educational purposes, wanted me to “fix” all her words to perfect English, even though I told her it all sounded better with her personal forms of expression. One man asked for help with grammar, then argued with me about my suggestions. The most embarrassing for me, though, was when I tutored a young woman who “seemed familiar,” then she turned out to be my son’s ex-girlfriend. Utah is “a small world after all.”

There are many challenges that do not frustrate me. Learning to understand the speech of someone from another country is interesting to me. I enjoy looking up elusive answers or asking other tutors for their opinions; it gives me an opportunity to learn something new. When people who have waited “forever” for their sessions express their angry feelings to me through words or body language, I get the chance to get to know them and try to make things better. That is something I like to do. I’m a mom – I fix things.

There was one online tutoring situation that did frustrate me, probably because I do like to be able to fix things. I could not fix this paper. It came in as a big block of misspelled mush. I gave the writer general advice on two major issues, creating paragraphs and writing complete sentences, but I couldn’t do more. I was crushed! I felt like I had let the student down. It weighed so heavily on me that I went and talked to Claire. I figured if I had messed up enough she would fire me and fix it herself. It wasn’t that bad. She reviewed what I had written, gave me a few suggestions for the situation, and let me know I did a good job. I could have curled up and cried with gratitude right there on the floor. It was such a relief to know I didn’t ruin anything! Claire’s advice helped me feel better about the situation. It also helped me to know what to do next time, so that particular frustration would not be an issue again. Talking to someone else really does help.

Thanks. Now I feel better.