Everyone and No One

All things considered, after looking through this blog, I don't really expect any large number of people to be reading it. For the most part I expect past, present, and future tutors to view my blog entries, think "That guy's weird" and continue on to more "normal" people. It's a reaction I'm pretty familiar with, so that's more or less what I expect of my reader.

Generally speaking, though, I consider average or normal-ish people to be reading the blog and reacting to me in an odd manner, usually mentally like: "This guy's nuts" and things of that nature. I expect them to sitting at home or at a computer, reading this very blog either out of boredom, curiosity, or a resignation concerning the collegiate system of required activities. I write freely about whatever I'm thinking about, for the most part. There are occasionally Mormons (and teachers) who are reading this, so I try to tone down the language.

Other than that I expect the readers to either not be interested or to write me off as some wacko crazy man, so I feel free to write whatever happens to come to mind in stream-of-consciousness fashion. Without any concern about what other people will think of me, I feel freed of (some of) my inhibitions and I tend to be rather uninhibited with my writing, and my activities, as a result of my personality. I'm just really comfortable with myself. I think I sometimes try to be weird just to get people to say "Wow, you're weird" because it amuses me to see their confused, and maybe frightened, expressions. I imagine the readers of this blog to be thinking along those very lines, so I sit here with this bemused smile on my face, and sometimes giggle mischievously, when I picture the reaction our button-down English tutoring students have upon reading said entry. As a result, I guess I write (and act) in a manner that provokes such a response, for I personally find it to be very entertaining and enjoyable when such occurs. I also think of Michael and Katy reading this blog, and think of their annoyed and/or irritated looks when they find out that I've, yet again, beaten them to the punch. Sadly, tis not meant to be this time, but oh well, cest la vie. Such was a major concern of mine when writing this blog, but now that I am no longer under any pressure to do any such thing, I can take the blog at a more relaxed pace.

I suppose, in another sense, that I'm just being who I am (more or less), and if you don't like it, well, I don't particularly care whether you like it or not. I just try to be me, and most people don't understand and/or appreciate my personality and sense of humor, anyway, so I'm not too afraid of rejection. "I yams what I yams and that's all that I yams and I cannot be what I yaint."