Do I get it now?

I came to college thinking I knew the discourses, but it wasn’t until Dr. Roger’s class that I actually started to get understand how a real college discourse works. I had no idea how awful I was at research papers. What did I learn my sophomore year in high school? I remember doing a research paper, and I remember getting an A on the paper. Are the expectation levels really so different. That year was horrible. My school got rid of the honors program for all levels but the freshman grade. I was in honors and felt I had learned a lot and then I was in the other English class. The same class with the two conspiring potheads, at least a small pack of girls who carry eye shadow to school (just in case), and a teacher with a backbone made of jelly. I hated that class. Sure it was fun and nothing was required for it but I literally learned nothing the whole year. We read Othello and I did not remember anything about the play until I studied it again at another school my junior year. So no…I don’t think I came entirely prepared for college. My first English teacher was the best. After him it was a sad steady slope into “Who cares anymore?” And I don’t like being discouraged about English. It’s the one subject I do like. My English 1010 course was just a continuation of high school. The whole class was just so…lame. There was oddly enough, a pack of girls who didn’t leave home without their tweezers, and a couple of guys who always looked high. I told myself, “It’s just because it’s a generals course,” and moved on. I just don’t like trying to go to a class where everyone shares this attitude like it just doesn’t matter. I find the whole thing depressing. I didn’t need a discourse really, other than the one I had been using since my freshman year of high school. And all my other courses didn’t require any writing. Not until the spring semester last year did I understand what was going on a little better. I love finding classes where you learn five times as much than any of your other courses combined. And that was what 2010 was for me. I remember the first essay I turned in for Dr. Roger’s. It was on Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”. Very difficult read by the way. Not until I saw red streaks through entire pages did I feel maybe I’m not getting this. Revise and rewrite…again, and again. And just this short time tutoring I feel like I understand what is expected from certain papers. I know what to do when I’m writing a research paper. I know I don’t understand everything, but I feel like I’m getting so much better. I don’t want to say I’m excited for the bibliographic essay because I’m not, but I want to see how well I get everything down now. Will I understand where I need to expand and will I know when I’m off track? We’ll see.