Don't Worry My Friends

Don’t Worry My Friends

I came looking for work at the Writing Center with a confident attitude. I had done well in both composition classes and actually discovered that I rather enjoy writing. I had been a tutee at the Writing Center before and I thought I knew the drill. The student walks in, the tutor easily glides through the paper, and the paper turns into a masterpiece. I had the notion in my brain that tutoring would be a breeze. I have come to realize that it may be a bit fiercer wind.

Certain realizations have come into my mind which has made me a little uneasy. As I have thought about these realizations I have become a little nervous and worried about being a tutor. Recently my hands have started to sweat, my voice trembles, and my vision has become a little blurry. Even now as I am typing this blog and thinking about how scary being a tutor is going to be, my big, cushiony chair isn’t really that comfortable anymore. Wait, actually I am not that nervous, but I do have my doubts.

One of my doubts is in me. I am worried that I may mislead some poor soul by teaching an incorrect concept or making a grammatical mistake on one of their papers. What if that rewires their whole thinking pattern and they continuously get docked points on their papers because they keep making the same mistake. I remember that when I came into the Writing Center I would look up to the tutors and respect their opinion. I can’t help but think that my fellow peers do the same. Heavy weight has been put on my shoulders to make sure that I know my stuff. I hope to better a student’s paper, not destroy it. Therefore, I am going to use this fear for the purpose of improving myself. Fear can be a great tool if it is used in the right manner.

I am also nervous that a senior will come in wanting help with a paper that I just don’t understand. For example, if a microbiology student comes in with some science format that I’ve never seen before and uses terms that I don’t believe came from the planet Earth, then I don’t know how I’m going to help him/her. Or if a senior brings in his/her paper about their capstone research project, which would constitute a large percentage of his or her grade, and I can’t really help them. Aahhh! I’ve ruined another soul’s life! Although, I do know that a good amount of the papers that do come into the Writing Center are freshmen composition papers. So, I think I am okay in that category.

These two concerns of mine really add up to a fear of failure. I don’t want a tutee leaving worse off than he/she started. In my past English classes I have heard one or two students express how they felt puzzled after receiving help on their writing. I hope to increase others’ writing skills as well as my own. Worries are natural and so are mistakes. I may have some rough encounters, but I will only come out stronger. Being a tutor is a bit nerve-racking but at the same time it is also exciting. I’m excited to dig down into the dirt and experience the great world of writing. I will put away my nerves, learn from my mistakes, gain greater confidence, and aspire to be a better writer.