20/20, As They Say

Hindsight is a funny thing. Its so easy to look back and say "I would have done that differently". When I was in debate in High School, the moment I sat down after a round I would look at the speech I gave and say: "Oh man! I should have changed X, or talked about Y longer," and etc. Despite the feelings of a job well done, I always look back and feel like I should have changed things, and this experience is no different.

I wish that I could change a lot of the things I did at the beginning, mostly. I should have helped students get involved more, should have handed them a pen to make their own marks, I should have handled that personal essay differently, should have explained better to that ESL student, and so on.

However, overall I feel satisfied. I feel like I helped people, that they learned. I feel proud of my accomplishments. I have seen students laugh, cry, avoid engaging, refuse to take my advice, and more. Each experience taught me something, and helped me to grow as both a person and a tutor. Working with so many different people has taught me how to ask questions, to be even more patient, how the learning process works, and what I can do to help others.

Also, it helps me look to the future, and know that I can do things differently. I cannot change what has already happened, but I can keep myself from making the same mistakes, and make new ones instead.