Things That Simply Have to Change
I have been waiting for this slacker prompt all semester. Now that it has come, all my ideas have flown away and I am left to ponder what I will post. Will I write about my feelings on the latest political topics? Or maybe environmental issues that are currently in debate? No, I think I’m going to do something else. Have you ever listened to the “Radio from Hell Show” on X96? I’m a big fan of the section “Things that must go,” and I think that is what I am going to occupy this blog with.
First of all, let’s talk about driving. I don’t think that Utahns understand the lane system. Slower traffic in the right lane, and if you’re going to pass you do it in the left lane. You don’t go slow in the left lane, or even worse, go the same speed in the left lane as the person right next to you in the right lane! The Utah road block has to go. If you insist on driving slow, please do so in the right lane. And don’t try to weave in and out of lanes! If passing traffic stays in the left, and slower in the right, we’ll all be much happier and I’ll be able to refrain from outbursts of anger when I am behind the wheel.
The next thing that has to go: one uppers. You know who I am talking about. The people who always have to interrupt your story and tell you how they did it so much better. No one likes a one upper, except for possibly another one upper who has just read this and said “I do.” Courtesy is King.
Amusement park affection is next on my list. You can see it in your mind’s eye I’m sure. The couple at the amusement park who are all over each other and they’re all sweaty and smelly and all that gross stuff. Everyone gets sweaty and “ugh” at amusement parks, and the last thing that I want to see is two of these sweaty, “ugh” people groping each other, consequently making me lose my lunch and my desire to date.
This one is a doozy. Cell phone etiquette; texting etiquette in particular. There are few things that chap my hide more than this. Here are examples of what exactly irks me with regard to this subject. Being texted at midnight on a weekday when everyone should know that I’m in bed because I have school in the morning. When people don’t return your call/text until way after the fact and give no reason for their tardiness. LOL (that has to go) and HaHa (which also has to go). I hate receiving texts with only one word (haha for example). I’m not going to respond to someone who responds to one of my texts with haha. I also think that we need to use English more formally in texting. I don’t want to decipher a text message; I just want to read it.
Well, there you have it. My list of things that must go. I’ll contemplate on more things that irritate me and I’ll rant and rave about those the next time it is a slacker prompt.
First of all, let’s talk about driving. I don’t think that Utahns understand the lane system. Slower traffic in the right lane, and if you’re going to pass you do it in the left lane. You don’t go slow in the left lane, or even worse, go the same speed in the left lane as the person right next to you in the right lane! The Utah road block has to go. If you insist on driving slow, please do so in the right lane. And don’t try to weave in and out of lanes! If passing traffic stays in the left, and slower in the right, we’ll all be much happier and I’ll be able to refrain from outbursts of anger when I am behind the wheel.
The next thing that has to go: one uppers. You know who I am talking about. The people who always have to interrupt your story and tell you how they did it so much better. No one likes a one upper, except for possibly another one upper who has just read this and said “I do.” Courtesy is King.
Amusement park affection is next on my list. You can see it in your mind’s eye I’m sure. The couple at the amusement park who are all over each other and they’re all sweaty and smelly and all that gross stuff. Everyone gets sweaty and “ugh” at amusement parks, and the last thing that I want to see is two of these sweaty, “ugh” people groping each other, consequently making me lose my lunch and my desire to date.
This one is a doozy. Cell phone etiquette; texting etiquette in particular. There are few things that chap my hide more than this. Here are examples of what exactly irks me with regard to this subject. Being texted at midnight on a weekday when everyone should know that I’m in bed because I have school in the morning. When people don’t return your call/text until way after the fact and give no reason for their tardiness. LOL (that has to go) and HaHa (which also has to go). I hate receiving texts with only one word (haha for example). I’m not going to respond to someone who responds to one of my texts with haha. I also think that we need to use English more formally in texting. I don’t want to decipher a text message; I just want to read it.
Well, there you have it. My list of things that must go. I’ll contemplate on more things that irritate me and I’ll rant and rave about those the next time it is a slacker prompt.
posted by Derek Stout at 11:18 AM
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