Hippy Patchwork Comma Splice?

The worst grammar thing in my world is…terminology. I know my stuff, but I forget what to call it. I learned the rules of grammar a long time ago. I like using them. Combining words in pleasant and understandable ways brings me joy. It has always been that way.

But that is also the problem. I learned the rules so long ago that I don’t remember how to put them into words. When someone in our class mentioned comma splices last week my anxiety level shot up. “What is a comma splice? Have I been using one?” Then someone told me a comma splice was when someone uses a comma incorrectly to connect two complete thoughts (I know…independent clauses). “Well, duh!” I knew that. Why didn’t anyone just say so?

I don’t have difficulty using “people words” to explain grammar in a tutoring session. “See that sentence? It is really two sentences stuck together. Is there a place where you can cut them apart?” I used those “people words” in two tutoring sessions today. Go ahead and yell at me. I was raised and educated with “hippy clap trap.”

I will admit, though, that I do use the correct terminology when I remember it. I try especially hard to use the accepted terms with the ESL/LEAP students. They seem to understand “article” and “comma splice” better than native speakers anyway, so they usually know what I’m saying.

A few of my fellow tutors have mentioned the many difficulties of the language we speak. Yes, English is a strange tongue. It is a crazy patchwork hybrid made up of almost all of the other languages in this crazy patchwork world. The one grammar rule that I remember most clearly is this: “For every rule there is an exception.” (I sometimes still wonder what rule is the exception to that one.) It is no wonder that so many of us struggle to remember the rules and all of their exceptions.

I have been around long enough for some of the rules to actually change. When I was little, a series of words was punctuated like this:“I like bananas, coconuts and grapes.”Now people put in an “extra” comma after that second-to-last word in the series. When did that happen? It makes me wonder what else changed while I was busy changing diapers.

To make up for my “youth deficit disorder,” I try to review grammar information whenever and wherever I find it. I love the little purple grammar handouts on the tables in the Writing Center. They help me remember what got lost somewhere in my long-term memory.

The grammar discussions in class have been helpful, too. Seeing articles, nouns and prepositions written on the board somehow brings back those dusty old memories. Watching as independent clauses line up correctly and connect with dependent clauses seems to help my neural pathways line up as well. I need more. Bring them on!