Petrified

Well, just to let y'all know who I am, since my username is not my name, I'm Rachel. I came here from Louisiana, having been a big fish in the little pond that was my local community college. My English professors had raved about my writing skills. So, I believed that I had some knowledge that I could impart to the students who would come into the writitng center. It wasn't until I took the tutoring test that I began to get worried. Suddenly all the mistakes I had made on past papers began haunting my dreams. Who do I think I am? Why should people come to me for help on their papers? Maybe I'm not as good of a writer as I thought I was. After all, this is a university and not a community college.

Now the coming week stares me in the face. I dread having my first tutoring experience. I actually considered telling Claire that she had made a mistake and that I could never be a tutor. I tremble at the thought of utter humiliation that will surely come if a tutee asks me a question I can't answer. I cringe when I think of having power to affect another person's grade. What if I just do it wrong? What if I make the paper worse than it was when I got it? I guess my biggest fear is that my tutee will know more than I do.

I know all of these fears will fade in time and that my skills will develop with experience. It's not the long term future that I am afraid of, it's the here and now. I know the tutoring class will help tremendously in the future, but what about the poor souls who come into the writing center in the next few weeks? Oh well, I guess life goes on.