Give Some Praise

I have tutored some difficult topics, but I did not find myself offended. I tutored a paper today on homosexuality and it turned out to be a good conversation. The student had covered both sides of the issue well. The Obama and McCain papers did not offend me because the students did not really seem to know any of the issues. They mostly focused on the fact that they liked Obama because of his charisma or that they liked McCain because they were raised Republican. So, although these issues could have been emotionally charged, they did not turn out to be so because the students either knew too little to be offensive or knew enough not to be offensive.

I would say the most difficult sessions I have had stem from the attitudes of students and not what they have written. I had one student ask for help with creating a hanging indent in Word (she was sitting at a computer). She showed me the paragraph and I realized that she meant a block quote. As I began to show her what to do, she said, "Oh, just a minute." She then proceeded to read through the entire page and fix commas here and periods there. I stood there for a good five minutes before she allowed me to explain to her what she had originally asked. I felt irritated because of her attitude. She continued being irritating later when she sat down with another tutor. She spoke loudly and bragged about how she was a senior and did not really need help from anybody in the writing center. She then said that she planned on being published soon. On and on the bragging went. I could not figure out why she had even come in if she did not need our help. The other tutor dealt with her patiently, but my skin continued to crawl until she left.

I guess my difficult situations come with the personalities of other people. Their opinion on a topic does not make me bristle, but hearing them brag or having them act as if they do not need my help causes me some agitation. I have found the best way to deal with this (I am the one who needs to deal, not the student) is to praise that student wherever I can. This worked well with one student. When he came in, I asked if he needed a tutor. He said, "No! I just need somebody to look at my paper." In class we talked about this as a vocabulary problem, but for him it seemed to be a pride issue. He was declaring to me that he did not need to be tutored. This pride showed throughout the session, but as I let go of my own pride and began to find the good in his work, he loosened up and even smiled a little. I found my own bad feelings toward him dissipating. I even found myself agreeing with his former pompousness: he really did not need much help. So, I learned to make a friend instead of let somebody I hardly know ruin my day or bother my own pride. This is how I have learned to deal with seemingly difficult personalities. Giving them some praise can change my atittude and sometimes even theirs.